Wednesday, July 27, 2011
The other night, after a day of trying to find the shells of the cicadas I had started to hear, I saw a live cicada. We had a brief conversation about how the transformation for me at this time is complete until the next cycle. Why was I looking for the shells of the immature? True to the cicada's words. . . I have yet to find a shell. Actually, I have stopped looking. I do, however, keep seeing the mature cicadas sitting in branches, screens and clinging to posts.
Monday, July 25, 2011
I rounded up their charms and laid them out on my altar. They had to have known what I was up to because both children surrendered their charms with out question. Miss B. even sounded excited to be carrying around something that had been blessed and charged by Mom.
Friday, July 22, 2011
I have actually spent a good part of my afternoon in prayer and contemplation upon Norway's tragedy. Symptoms of enclosure have struck again. It is heartbreaking when these things occur. We can expect them to continue to occur because we are merely putting BandAides on on a sucking chest wound. We are being consistently pointed in the wrong directions
The world's governments would have us believe that there is only one solution. When in fact, there is only one solution that is acceptable to them and will allow them to keep their hold on power. They keep pushing the green movement and sustainable living answer like it's going to answer all of our problems. It's not the full answer. It is only half an answer and this is not a quiz where we will get half points for half correct answers. We either get it right or we doom ourselves to extinction. Here's another solution. I am sure there are others. This is not something that has only one aspect to the solution and anyone who says that is either selling you something or desires to rule you.
I have spoken to God Herself many times about this subject and Her answer was always the same: You have been given the tools. I expect you to use them!
It is my deepest, heartfelt sorrow that we see such terrible acts inflicted upon anyone. I hope that we all take time to think about how we can contribute to genuine solutions and not revenge. I hope that we can all grow together and truly heal.
for further reading: Survivors From Earth By Laurence Winn.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Here I am in the ocean in a larger craft. I can't rely on the knowledge that I aquired of the smaller cutters that I have been sailing in for most of my life. I now have a Spanish Galleon. They sail differently and I am left at the helm with no stupivision and no manual. I am left to my understanding of how helms work, star patterns above me and how the ocean moves beneath me, but it is simply not enough to call myself a master of my ship any longer. I have obviously been tossed out into the deep in a craft, even though sea worthy, unfamiliar to me. I guess it's time to use the finer tuned listening skills that I have honed over the years and hope that I have not been steered astray.
I have spent extra time on Kala exercises and iron pentacle to help me listen clearly, but as I am left by myself for the first time in a larger craft in unfamiliar territory I have to question every move and every course correction. I second guess everything and have to look like I know what the frak I am doing or those who are in my charge lose it. Nothing matters more at this point than a confident facade and I hope that I am fooling enough of the people at this point to get through the first vigil in the middle of the night with out an insurrection.
Holy Gods of the sea, help me steer this craft with intelligence and skill for this be a new helm to me and the secrets of this craft be still a mystery.
Ho o'pono pono Amene!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Life is something that continually goes on through small changes that often time goes unnoticed. Today all of the plants in my yard are just a little larger, the grass a little taller, the sun's rays a little shorter in reach. The thought form hasn't changed. . . just shifted with the tide. I think that I, as well as every other human, cling to a thought form and expect it to remain the same, unaware that as life marches on, that it is outmoded and needs to be shifted in order to fit into the way life is moving through you. I am saving this little husk for a working that I am sure will be coming about, but first there is a conversation that needs happening and I prefer it to happen in person so I can see the nuances of her words in her eyes as she speaks. That can't happen until September, but I have feeling that this will be worth the wait.
Other interesting things had popped into mind as I was studying this shell. Preying manits is the guardian of the plant world. It feeds on the pests of vegetation. . . things that grow from the earth benefit from the presence of this creature. Mating habits are a bit brutal, but it seems to be the order of this creature's being. I am certain there is a reason for this that remains veiled to humanity. In the order of my own question: the gift makes sense. . . I need to process the information a bit more, but it's sort of like dinner, you can eat it and enjoys its flavor but the process has only begun. . . there are so many miles to go before the real benefits of the meal emerge.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
The other thing that came to mind is the rune of thorns. The one that first brought thorn harvesting to my mind. it was a slow thought that brewed. It took many months for it to surface and much prodding of the rune itself. I didn't like the idea of working with the thorn rune. It seemed too harsh, possibly even dangerous to do so, but thorn kept poking at me and telling me its secrets until one night, in the dead dark, I went out looked over my shoulder and clipped a thorn from one of the many cactai on the property of my apartment complex. Okay, I am listening, I told it. The thorn I harvested came from the mighty saguaro. I pricked myself hard enough to draw blood and left a few drops in thanks.
Large thorns were used by the natives as sewing needles for both cloth and flesh. I suspect they were used ritualistically, but have no academia to back that up at this moment. It is something I will be looking into as I pass through the gate of thorns. I have a feeling there are deep secrets that the children of the briar have yet to share. For the now, I will continue speaking to the thorn crowned plants and accepting their offerings. I have begun to prune some of my thorny plants and their thorns are too precious to me to waste so I have clipped them off and saved them. I have become the harvester of thorns.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Apparently the use of colored candles for birthday cakes may be connected to a German tradition called Kinderfest that dates back to the 15th century. I thought it was interesting because amongst the beliefs they held about children and birthdays is that children were most susceptible to attack by evil spirits on the day of their birth. All the adults would gather around the child and stand vigil over the cake's candles until it was evening and time to enjoy the cake. This custom was brought over by immigrants I am gathering. So, we can all thank the Germans for wax on our cakes I guess.
Here is the recipe I chose to use for my son's birthday cake. It had to be chocolate. . . it seems that he has a sweets spot for chocolate everything! In keeping with magic traditions be sure you are grounded and have nothing but sweet thoughts and wishes. If you have any cooking/ baking chanties I encourage you to use them as you are baking.
2 cups white sugar
1 3/4 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup boiling water
1.) preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour pan(s) ( if you are going to layer it use two 9"round pans. I used a 9x13" pan.
2.) in a large bowl, stir together the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add the eggs, milk, oil and vanill; mix for two minutes on mediun with your mixer. Add the boiling water last. The batter will be very thin, no worries though it adds a velvety texture to the cake. Pour in evenly into your pans if using two.
3.) the directions say 30-35 minutes and test with a toothpick. my oven took 40 minutes to bake completely. You may want to try 30 and see where you get there. Cool in pans for about ten minutes and remove to wire racks to cool completely.
Frost when completely cool
Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting
1 oz unsweetened baking chocolate
8 oz cream cheese
4 cups powdered sugar
1TBS vanilla extract
1/8 tsp salt
2TBS evaporated milk
1.) Have all ingredients at room temperature. Melt the chocolate in a double boiler.
2.) In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Pour melted chocolate into cream cheese and mix until completely blended. Add vanilla, evaporated milk and a pinch of salt. Slowly add powdered sugar one cup at a time. refrigerate until ready for use.
Be aware this is a very rich cake so small pieces are advised. Enjoy!
Monday, July 11, 2011
The cake is in the oven, the cream cheese frosting is chilling and all the witchlings are scooting in and out of the kitchen to get a glimpse of what mom's got going on. The eldest is today 17! The youngest came out and jumped up and down for joy that there was a birthday in the house. He doesn't care whose birthday it is, he's just glad there's a birthday because it means cake!
Anytime I would go to the pediatrician's office, I would be given this survey to fill out. It would ask about things pertaining to my child's development. The one question that used to get my dander up was always: how do you feel you are doing as a parent? I consistently answer: ask me again in thirty years and we'll talk. Well as far as the eldest is concerned, I am a bit over the half way mark of telling the pediatrician how I think I am doing as a parent and I still don't have a clue as to how I will answer. All I know is that I have a baked from scratch cake in the oven and a bunch of family member's are drooling on the tile. ( I really should have put down a towel as so no one slips.)
I suppose that the reason I get my dander up over that question is because there is no way of telling in the here an now how you are doing when it comes to raising your children or even chickens until they have all grown up. Then you sort of look back and go oh wow, maybe I should have done that better in this area. Or wow, I had no idea that was around. There's seems to be a whole lot of would have, should have, could have involved. It galls me to think that Dr's seem to want instant feed back gratification on something that literally takes a life time to do. Or even that there is a magic formula to raise the perfect responsible citizen. (Trust me, I have asked Her for one and She cackled at me!)
We all get through our childhood traumas and parenting stumbling blocks in our own way, right or wrong. Hopefully we are paying attention to the red flags and thumbs up as we go and find our flow. How am I doing as a parent? I don't know. I am sure to get a report card here in a few years from my eldest, but in the meantime, there's cake!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
|Windows to my backyard|
The discussion being had was also not just about faith in the divine, but in yourself to hear it, move with it and carry it. I know that at certain points in my life I felt as though I were too broken a being to be worthy of divinity speaking to me or through me to another person. Why would the Gods speak to such a broken hot mess?
My house had an answer for me. We are not broken. We are deliberately and artfully cut and shaped. Like a jewel, a prism or windows. We are but vessels for light to shine through. And when the right angle is hit with light, a myriad of colors are cast out into the world. It is beautiful to look upon and so are you even if you think you are broken. That is why the Gods speak to and through you. You may never see the lights you reflect, but trust me, you are beautiful even if you think you are broken.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
There are questions and thoughts that are, and have been, festering in the back of my brain for quite some time. it's official, the verdict is in. Not guilty.
From a spiritual stand point, it is our understanding that we choose our lives before we come in here with signed contracts on the lessons we learn. I am not only having doubts about this it is quite the rancorous infected thorn in my mind. This case with the Anthony's is sore point because I have already experienced a loss in my life with murder and children involved. In 1995 I was in love with a man who had a beautiful 8 year old child.
I remember kissing him good bye and saying call me when you guys get back in town. I remember wanting to say I love you but stopping instead to say that I had just noticed he was dichromatic. I had issues back then with being in love and admitting it to my beloved. I also remember seeing black in my mind's eye and wanting to say don't go home. Something was going to happen and I was not experienced enough with the way my filter's spoke to know that death was coming.
I remember Monday night coming and going with out a phone call and thinking that maybe he was not calling because he had just got in and was tucking in his little one. Maybe he was tired. Maybe it was a rough ride and he didn't want to pollute my mood with his bad mood, maybe maybe maybe. There were a thousand of them and there was a hole I couldn't name.
I got a phone call early Tuesday Morning. . . " Hello, we are so sorry, but we need to talk to you about Mike." It was the Tempe Police. They didn't at first tell me he was dead or that his son was dead. They left me grasping in the pitch black for sanity while I was trying to find out if he was ok. They did tell me he was dead eventually and my entire being fell to the floor like an ash heap. It took me years to get over their murder.
Even then, I remember hearing things like: we all choose our lives before we get here. I don't think that we choose to come into this life to experience being murdered! I think that Mike and his son and me and Caylee and everyone around these people have been robbed! Caylee would be one year older than my youngest. She would be going to kindergarten this year. All the children that she would have been in class with have been deprived of any lesson Caylee would have had to teach them!
I think that things like this spiritual contract thing are said to help us deal with the chaos that free choice brings to our world on occasion. I suppose it is easier to say this than to try to understand that sometimes some humans make very bad choices and perform deeds of evil. Is Casey Anthony guilty? I don't know. . . I have deliberately avoided this trial like the plague because of my own pain. That kind of pain never really leaves you. . . the break downs do space out and when they leak in, the length of the break down is not as long. The pain is just as intense. The numbness of not understanding why you were robbed does not go away. I have been fortunate. The people around me have helped to heal me.
I do know that something monstrous happened to that child. I do know that someone performed those acts that robbed this world. Who ever is the guilty party, I hope that you suffer never ending thorns and ever growing infections from the wounds you created! Then To the Pain!
I know not very spiritual of me.
Sorry, but that's how I feel.