Angry imps!

I like this discussion on the dark side of meditation and the issues that can occur. I view them of course not necessarily from a scientific or even scholastic perspective. I come to this discussion from personal experience ( which is king in my book) and a shamanic eye. It is necessary to have this discussion because these are real consequences of awakening a possible shaman without the lore/ guiding hand/ shamanic ethos and spirit contact. Meditation is not a practice of scientifically silencing the mind and it's voice, it is a conscious effort to connect yourself with the divine part of yourself and divinity as we are able to perceive and understand. This requires understanding of uncommon sense to be applied in a common sense world. Yes this is indeed a paradox, but if you are in the mirror's reflection, everything is backward, yet we still understand it.

 I agree with the Dalai Lama: you cannot have a Temple without a large library to support it. ( Library guides are also very much desired.) Libraries and library guides teach us that there are answers out there and if they are not direct answers, we are able to take the facts or read a pattern and bring it into focus to understand or at least come to terms with the strangenesses currently in play. Between libraries and meditation, shamans thrive; remove the libraries and the whole kit and caboodle is insanity in a crazy burlap bag of angry wet cats. Poor burlap bag. I believe that when you are centered within yourself while in meditation that what you have learned has the potential to become wisdom through right action.  I think we often forget that life is a mystery to experience not analyze.

I have had some very negative experiences in both meditation and trance. That does not make me unstable. It makes me pretty "normal." EEEEEKKKK When these disturbing things occur it is a cue for me not to run away, but to carefully inspect. I may be experiencing an angry shard of myself or even missing soul piece! That is not to be ignored or taken lightly in the shamanic world. ( it is also not red alert/ klaxon alarm/ panic button pushing event.) It could be causing illness, true indeed, even emotional disturbances. . . the good news is that you can fix it. In fact, when these things come up you are being invited to help heal the issue. Not just fix it; heal it, mend it, bring the tattered ends together for peace talks. These things, these dark frightening things that hide in our beings. . . they are us. And they want the same things we want: love and acceptance for who and what they are. Really it's like the soul shattered off and made all these little imp like shards and they come back to haunt us. The only truth we need to understand in these moments is this: It may be an imp, but it's my imp and I love it. Well loved imps are much better behaved than ignored, ostracized, and angry imps.

Thus the witch proverb:

Faithfully serve your imp, and S/He shall faithfully serve you.

Possession, Demons and Exorcism: part 2

When possession comes to mind, the first thoughts are generally negative in nature. The mind wanders off to the Hollywood renditions of heads spinning, weird things being regurgitated at record distances, convulsions, and intimidating voices issuing threats from the twisted features of the possessed. While some of these things may actually be true, it is not the whole story of possession. For the most part Hollywood and TV land has neglected to take into account the phenomenon of sacred possessions, unless you count The Vampire Diaries in season one where Bonnie the witch is possessed by the spirit of her ancestor to prevent something terrible from happening ( see no spoilers for those who have not seen it yet.) That's pretty close to what I am talking about when I talk about sacred possession, but it doesn't earn a cigar ( sorry Bonnie.)

http://www.bobgrahamart.com/page/page/3690774.htm

What I am talking about is possession of a person by a divine being and in some cases, the spirit of a spiritual leader, for example, Marie Laveau has been called forth at least once that I can recall seeing.  I wish I could find the video of it on YouTube again. It was so long ago that I saw it on YouTube that it probably no longer exists if my searches are correct. In Voodou tradition, possession of their Gods is a common theme. It is even said that the Haitians gained their freedom while being possessed during battle by their Gods. This type of possession, generally does not happen spontaneously. It is worked for. Some traditions use trance, others dancing, others yet a series of trance and invocation. This process is just that, a conscious effort to call a specific being/spirit/divinity into the body of a willing host for the benefit of that specific spiritual community.

Christianity is included in the traditions that practice possession. *gasp* Ever heard of the Holy Rollers? The Holy Rollers are a group of Pentecostal Christians who at one point in time during the mass would literally roll down the aisles of the church to whip up the energy. They would do this to invoke God within them and speak in tongues. According to my Pentecostal friend this is no longer practiced, but they still practice possession. They call it getting the Holy Ghost.

I could talk about this subject in an arm chair magician sort of style, but that's not who I am. I come from a line in my tradition that does possession with the Gods. My first taste of possession was, in fact, something that falls into: "this generally does not happen category." I was working on an oil devoted to one of our deities. I had contacted Her before I actually started working on creating the oil to ask Her what she desired Her oil to be like. I listened and took notes and this process continued for a few days while I asked questions, listened and played with energetic resonances of the oil mixtures I was testing for this project. When it came time to actually blend things together and leave it steep for the proper time I could feel Her hover near and my crown chakra would spin and become very warm. At the Dark Moon when it came time to bless this oil and call Her to empower it something different happened. I could feel Her half slip into me like a hand filling a glove and all the things I had planned on saying and chanting went right out the window. I could hear a difference in my voice, I could feel my eyes and other facial features being held in a different manner. I felt VERY large as though I could just stretch out and touch the other side of the house if I wanted to. It took a few hours after the blessing for the effects of Her coming and going to fully dissipate and even my kids looked carefully at me as though they were wondering who else was in there with me. I have witnessed another practicing this sort of possession and watching it happen on the outside I can tell you that there is a marked change in the person hosting the Gods while they are present.

While popular media likes to spin things in a manner of the sensational, the truth is that what ever it is they are spinning probably has another side and face to the subject and possession is no different. Possession is both sacred and profane and it is up to you to determine which you wish to embrace.

Last of the Lead is Near!

The longest night in the season comes, and I know that while I am experiencing this darkness as the moon eclipses I hope to shift things. I have been experiencing some heavy Saturn like influences and that is no surprise to me seeing as how I have been working with a version of the Lead Pentacle. It's no surprise that I feel weighted, bound and contained. I knew this was going to happen and I was encouraged by my guides to continue the process. "Really look at that which you bind yourself with. You tied these knots and only you can untie them. Best to do it now before the moon changes her face" Admittedly, this has NOT been a very fun process, but how am I supposed to shift things in my life if I do not understand the knots I tied myself with?

I feel very much like that woman in the tarot deck. Bound to her chair with a blind fold on and her back to the sea. I have felt like that almost my entire life. I have permitted myself to be restrained by the opinion and judgement of  others from the time I was a child. I think in some manner we all are like this. We listen to our parents opinions of us when they think we are not listening. It rolls over to our peers in school, then to our co workers and mates. As a Gemini I think I have taken this to an extreme and allowed myself to emotionally become this Woman in the Two of Swords card: a sacrifice to the sea. Allowing each year a piece of me to be beaten away by the waves. Circumstance has ruled my life, instead of cultivating opportunity, I remained frozen in my chair waiting for the next wave hoping it won't take too much away with its ebb. It's no wonder I am not ready to teach. It's no wonder why my Oath Mother has decided I need time to myself.

While I feel like I am the Bound woman with the seas to my back, I don't allow myself to behave as though I am her. I am not her, these are demons from my past. Things created early in life where things were not always up to me. During my Feri training I have learned plenty about these self created demons and handled many of them, but I never really felt strong enough to deal with this one, the Oldest and most potent of them. This one is the one that whispers: "You're not worthy. You're not good enough. You can't do anything right. You will never finish anything or amount to anything. " This year, as the Full Moon eclipses on Yule, this demon will be faced and handled appropriately. All the circumstances in my life have lined up for this to happen. Literally! I would be a fool not to take advantage of the celestial help to do so. I have even been left standing alone for it. Which is appropriate. I must do this alone.

There have been some very positive things about working with circumstance. I have learned how to work with what I have and make the most of it. I have learned to ebb and flow like seaweed in the ocean and not be torn up by the root. I have learned how not to waste anything, not a moment, not a dime, a box or kindness done. I have learned how to take rough rocks and make them shine. I have learned how to make unrelated scraps into a treasure. I have learned to let that which is poisonous leave. I have learned that sometimes poison is the cure. These are all very valuable lessons reaped, but it is time to shift.

While this process I have taken working with the Lead Pentacle has been very unpleasant, it has been important. I don't recommend just going out and working with the Lead Pentacle to anyone. Not without a strong support system, a strong sense of purpose and a specific time frame for it to begin and end because it is literally heavy weighted stuff and can pull you under in a heart beat and drown you. It brings depressive self pity at times, tears and and anger are also dominate here. Without a sense of why you are doing this, your anger and tears will be wasted and misdirected. You can do grave emotional damage to yourself and those around you. Done correctly does not mean there will be no tears and anger. . . those are inevitable, it just means that you will be angry and sad for the correct reasons and you will chose to use that as fuel to get the right thing for the right reason done. I have been doing heavy kala work while I put myself through this process to help flush out the toxins this work brings to surface.  

This full moon Yule eclipse signals the conclusion of my Lead Pentacle work. I will follow this work up with heavy Kala work, and heavy emphasis on both the Iron and Pearl Pentacles. I will also follow this work up with other activities: following my bliss ( responsibly of course.)

I wish all of you a much more Jupiter influenced Yule season and hope fine things are on the horizon for everyone ( me included.) I will be taking an internet break starting tomorrow so I can spend time with my family and prepare for my final Lead work. 

Merry Yule and Happy New Year!

Mrs. Oddly