Vote with your feet and walk in the gap.

The monsoons are heavy and thick with water loaded air, so much so, you can smell it. It makes for a long moment when you have to go out into it no matter how short or long the jaunt. All of this is happening as I am bringing water elemental teachings to my students. It's funny how when you teach, there are new things learned, understood, and clarified. It's sort of like an unending period of training that brings about new questions and thoughts of your own as you try to anticipate what your students will ask. There is always something that surprises you. Goes to show how differently people think about similar circles. Which is why I am always surprised when other people expect you to think and do as they would in any given situation with a smug " well I would have done that. . . it's only logical." Well, no, it's not unless you share perspective and exact experience.

This is why there is such a schism in the craft, even within a single tradition, not to mention everything else in life. Currently the largest schism I am witnessing is between the genders. There is one side saying that their way is better than the other and they should hold power. Well, I disagree and this is why. Any time there is one agency holding any sort of power a perspective is negated because it does not fit into that agency's paradigm of how things should be done, usually to the disadvantage and victimization of all perceived minorities or opposing factions. We see this happen all the time and tend to ignore it: men vs. women, Christianity vs. anything else, cats vs. dogs, heterosexual vs. homosexual, GMO's vs. organic foods. . . the list can continue for quite a ways here so I'll just commit a sin and assume you get it.

The problem we are encountering is is not a schism between what is being polarized, but the negated perspectives that cause the polarization in the first place. Remember the phrase: walk a mile in someones shoes before you judge them?" Maybe instead of judging them we should be observing their experience and absorbing its effects. I know that sometimes the problem comes about because an experience is not properly communicated through either humiliation or deception. Which is why it is important for us to not judge when someone does communicate something such as Marion Bradley Zimmerman's daughter did, or Jada who has recently been attacked and then again through social media, or when someone in power such as Paul Ryan says something to the effect of rape being a method of conception in regards to his pro life views. I suppose it's a step up from someone such as Todd Akins who clearly is mistaken when he was heard stating that a woman who is raped cannot become pregnant because the body shuts down. What these two examples illustrate are the difference between someone who holds an ideal of life and the other is either severely uneducated or worse deliberately spreading lies. While it's an abomination to say the things both of those gentlemen did, it exposes their mind set and it should be heard so we can decide how we are going to use our power in this situation. However, in order to determine this we need to be able to listen to the perspectives.

 Are we going to like everything we hear? Absolutely not, but we do not have to agree with it and can make different choices. When you shut a faction down, choices are removed leaving other factions disenfranchised and trapped in whatever situation they are in usually resulting in a volatile situation. Each side is so busy vying for power and control that they not only refuse to acknowledge the other as human beings they stop acting as human beings. We see this most eloquently in the public conversation being had about how the unborn are people, corporations are people, but women and their reproduction organs must be legislated into an oblivion as though we are not people. They become so obsessed with their goals, fears and agendas that the means justify the ends and they justify anything they did while minimizing or even denying harm done driving each faction into deeper raving, foaming at the mouth, madnesses until no one can see straight. They become sociopaths or they may have started out as psychopaths. Either way, the real goal of these fighting factions is obtaining power and not just any power. . . the worst kind: power over.

You will hear all sorts of reasons why Patriarchy should rule and why Matriarchy should rule, some of them may be deceptively seductive and sound logical. However, the true course of power should be managed in a balanced manner that heals schisms which means that not one agency should rule everything: not Matriarchy, not Patriarchy, not Oligarchy or Theocracy. We should shudder when any one agency vies for power in the manner we are seeing happen today in all arenas. We should deny them that power in any way we can. The best solution: vote with your feet. The Grand Canyon may have a huge gap between the sides, but the places between those gaps are beautiful and worthy of exploring. Ok, you might need goat feet. . . but first go inside and see if what you believe are really your beliefs.

Fear the copper pennies!

I may be delusional, but I think Autumn may have more than a two week shelf life out here this year. The evening is chilled enough for me to think that a long sleeve is a good idea and that strange 'cold clarity' that comes with that chill is slowly rising out of a mirage stricken pavement.

My ancestor working beads came in and I quickly went to work making ancestor connection talismans. The first one goes to my witchling who is actively learning to walk in a 'crooked' manner. The rest go out from Odd soon to seek others ready to do the work. Samhain feels thick this year. I know that sounds like a paradox, but I think I have pin pointed the feeling upon review of the situation. It's plain old 'I'm addicted to fear and if I can't have real fear I'll make some.' Really there are loads of people who make their weather and cry about the rain. That's all this is. It's like grow up class got skipped or something.

I have been at least observant of the pagan online community for quite some time *shudder* and every single year as the equinox rolls through there is this crazy voice decrying how evil we are for praying over candy in spite of the fact that they pray over candy as well. Quite frankly, I am nauseated to boredom on this subject but I dare not take my eyes off of fanatics lest they do the standard desperate we are right and if we are not we will crash the plane in spite thing. True story. . . it happens.

So my solution to all this insanity is to pray over the candy. EVERY BLASTED SINGLE BAG OF IT I COME ACROSS!  Yesssssssss! Even and ESPECIALLY the candy corn because I'm a bitchy faced witch right now. If the fanatics are going to bang the fear mongering drum as loud as they possibly can with out-right bullshit and lies, then I will pray for the safety and preservation of common sense within the innocents they attack. We have seen this behavior in other aspects as well. Remember the Texas Gov's The Response??? Or how about the renaming of the States (my favorite was Throw Jezebel From a Wall State: New Jersey) and reclaiming the District of Columbia as the District of Christ because if it isn't properly Christian  ( in their fanatic eyes) it must be of absolute profane evil. . . like the rest of the world doesn't exist or something like that. . . really children??? . . stop throwing sand in the sand box or you'll get sand in your eyes too.

So here goes:

Holy Mother, 
Divine hand of Providence, I pray that you bless those who receive these sweets be endowed with your grace, protection from the profane, an open eye of wisdom so true discernment may happen, a will to call the hypocrites out on the harmful bullshit as bullshit, and stand firm in their assessment with resolve to move forward toward love. 

Ho O'pono pono Amene


Yes I know. . . it's not the Maleficent I originally intended ( lucky everyone). I actually talked myself out of the Victor style praying tree. . . but there's always next year. Pray I do not alter the magic. Yes go ahead, fear the copper pennies you find in the candy display bins if you want, but if you are smart, you'll pick it up and make a wish.

Look ma! No kitty lips!

I think I am sailing out the other end of the storm. I am tired. You know the kind that goes clear, deep into you. The stress has notably done unkind things with my fibro. If I have read the signs correctly, there is still a bit to go. I have sneaking hunches as to what it may be and I know that it will slam into the family like a wrecking ball. I have prepared myself for this by speaking with my own beloved dead about helping her to pass if that is what she chooses to do with the energy I am sending. You see I learned something while Cora was going through her death process. She had been in and out of the hospital and word spread that this trip was quite serious. The Feri community began to send healing energy in droves. She had helped so many others with her own brand of healing, how could I not participate in that? Then in the chaos of the moment there was Thorn who pointed out that maybe healing isn't what Cora really needed. She emphasized the idea that only Cora, at this point, knew what was best for her and that maybe instead of sending healing energy we should be sending her just energy for her to decide what to do with. That was the only thing that made sense to me and removed the dread of the inevitable news of Cora's passing. She passed May 1st 2008. I got the phone call while celebrating my youngest child's 1st birthday with ice cream shop ice cream. It was a bitter sweet moment, but I am taking my cue from the lesson I learned from Thorn and Cora and sending my husband's Grandmother tons of energy. I have no idea how his family would react to this type of action so I guess mum's the word, but how can I not? She has done me many kindnesses. I am preparing myself to help my husband mourn his grandmother's passing, so I guess the feathers and the order of their discovering really were the portends I thought they were when they started lining up on my altar after morning walks. I hope I still have a good hand left on the helm.

I know that things regardless of what actually happens, things will be okay. During the darkness of this storm I started to see light shine through; my oath mother had gifted me with some black heart beads she had specially commissioned. She wanted beads that threaded side to side and discovered that 99.99 percent of the black heart beads she was looking for strung from top to  bottom. Three of those little jewels are now in my most grubby, witchy hands and I'm 'a gonna hoarde those babies! I know it sounds weird to hear (read) someone say that the arrival of black hearts, or any other said sign, brings peace, but that's my truth. The white/ grey dove's feather I found this morning only confirms that light indeed is dawning on the horizon. I look forward to a smooth sea and a calm nights star gazing.

My cat must even recognize that her mama's a bit of a train wreck this morning. She didn't stick her lips under the door and yowl merceilessly until I got out of bed. Usually, I am greeted first thing in the morning ( before my coffee: most dangerous btw) with a pitiful yowling that seems to echo off of EVERYTHING! It's like she has figured out just the right tone, timber and location to stick her head under the door and start in with that horrible Halloween sound track. It's like she grew extendable kitty lips for just the right amount of annoyance. I actually got coffee this morning without the full frontal frenzy assault. It was nice to not try and think this morning with out miss kitty lips and her 2 cents. I'll let you know when the storm is gone. Thank you for your patience with me. I know I have been off and on MIA.

Storyteller shamans

I have always thought that the telling of stories was one of the most important things for a strong society to bond into a people. Not the news, not documentaries, not the neighborhood gossip sort of stories, but the ones of legendary proportions. The ones where the villain looks to be larger than life and invincible, the heros reluctant to step to the plate, the magic hidden in plain sight. These are the stories that truly matter. They used to be told in the flickering light of a fire at night when the creatures of night stalked their shadows. The Shaman or storyteller would have everyone huddled around scarce to breathe for missing a nuance of tone as the story came to life. Sometimes the fire would help with a dramatic pop and shower of sparks. These were the days when tribes were small.

Our tribes are much larger now, but stories are still a major bonding thread through our cultures. It's not likely that we are going to huddle around a fire ( although that still sounds fun) but we all at one point find ourselves scrunched down in a movie theater chair or a sofa in our living room waiting to be told a story. When we really look at it the storyteller has to jump through many more sacred hoops to tell their tale, but the beginnings of the storytelling process remains the same. The storyteller turns inward and flies up into a realm of ethers that he or she has been invited into. Literally it is a new world with rules, heros and villains all of it's own.

Like the past, these stories link tribes of a culture together regardless of what part of the world the story travels. All who hear and love the story become kith and kin, welcomed into the world with a common understanding of humanity even if the language is different. These stories not only bind cultures together, they can act as a guide in the dark shadowed night of the soul. Often times when we are listening/ watching/ reading these stories, we end up empathizing with a specific character in the saga. During times of demon dancing it becomes helpful to look to these figures and those around them for wisdom and guidance while you dance your own shadow dance. The wisdom revealed may not be a direct application to your own motion, but rather a sudden flash of realization and inspiration. This is a true aspect of shamanism: the application of the shaman's vision to the realm we walk in whether it be a large outer world project or a personal quest.

Shamanism is not a dwindling practice, it is alive and well. It has evolved, shifted to suit the medium, the people, the largeness of the world's tribe. Maybe the traditional means and methods of training have been passed quietly around to certain keepers of these secrets, but lost they are not. There are those out there who continue the traditional practices in secret with a small group of people in clusters all over the world and sometimes in places most unexpected. Often times these Shamans, if you will, do not share their adventures believing them to be irrelevant to the outer world or useful to anyone but themselves. Sometimes what is revealed, the shaman feels should be kept secret for a time until it is the correct place in time to reveal the mystery for further unfolding. Sometimes the shaman never reveals the story because the battle is their personal dance.

Every once in a while, I fall upon a movie, book or painting that reveals to me that the art of the storytelling shaman is still alive and well. These people may not recognize what it is they are doing, but I do. If there is any doubt, ask the story teller this:" how real are your characters and their world to you?" Most of them will tell you something like this:" my characters talk to me and have a running commentary on my life." These storytellers may not have been trained in traditional manners or be keepers of traditional secrets, but they have tapped into something larger than themselves and come back with a legend to pass to their perceived tribe. Some of these modern legends have swayed the thinking and understanding of real people in this realm, possibly shifting this world in a very real manner. If that's not shamanism, I don't know what the hex is.

I believe society needs these story tellers to help make sense of our world and lives. I believe that these stories make us stronger as both a society and individual. Think carefully, who are your storyteller shamans? How have they affected your universe? What untold stories have you been invited to dance within and have you the courage to tell them?

Notes from an old pagan

It saddens me that there are things going on in the pagan community that more divisive than binding: agism, my tradisms ( my trad is better than yours), gender discrimination of all ilks, OMGS you can't do that because it's harm clan,  and the list is longer than I can really wish to see. . . these things seem to be part of the human condition. Regardless of who we are as individuals and groupings there is always something to bitch about and there is always a finger pointing somewhere other than where it belongs: you.

Yes, you. We are all individually responsible for our research, our emotional reactions and deeds. . . or the lack there of. I work really hard to make sure that I keep myself balanced and checked and even with this work, it sometimes escapes me. Does that make me a bad person or even a bad pagan? No, it doesn't. What it does make me is human.

Growing up in a military family, I learned discipline and respect. I was taught that respecting your elders was important, even if they didn't deserve it in your perception because they were ( insert failing here.) The point that was raised was simply this: they deserved your respect because they have more experience living than you, even if you thought they were ( insert failing here.) So, I went through my childhood calling my elders Mrs., Mr., Ms. Miss ( insert surname) and saying yes and no Ma'am/ Sir. I still do that. It drives my Oath Mother crazy I think.

OK maybe in the realm of things being almost forty does not quite make me an old pagan. I know some pagans whom I consider to be my elders. Yes, I call them my elders. They would probably back hand me for doing so to their face, but they are indeed my elders in both living and crafting their practices. I have an immense amount of respect for most of my elders simply because their knowledge and technique makes me look like a doofus at times. They have been generous to me with both secret and time. There is not a thing I can possibly do to repay them except do for the younger generation as my elders have done for me. I can't possibly do this if my youngers are spitting at each other and their elders about yancy nancy bullshit: such as ego, dress code and other bleating nonsense.

When I take on students, other than my own children, it will be because not only has this individual expressed true desire and willingness to do the work, it's because they are respectful and understand that they do not know everything.  Hex, I don't know everything! I do however have the resources to find the answers to my questions from either research or my elders.

Quite frankly, youngers, a little bit of research into who your elders ( like it or not you have them) are may be very revealing about what the craft really is about. I'm talking about reading up on the people and not the subjects they wrote about ( although reading between the lines on that is helpful as well) Quoting an elder's work without understanding the individual behind it is simply insane. In fact, if you read up on your elders and their personal philosophies may make some of the newer generation gnash their teeth and rip out their hair until they come to the realization that they are only human. Depressing huh? The elders are really only human????? Yes they are, the thing that makes them seem more than human ( in some cases ) is simply that they have more years of experience under their belt and have seen this round of ruckus before. Possible several rounds of it and they remain unruffled by it ( a quality I am working on. I still get mad about certain things and feel I have to put in my .02. *face palm*)

As far as the OMG!!!!! The burning times!!!! Yes the burning times happened. Yes, most of the victims of the burning times were never actually witches, but we still need to be aware of that type of power grabbing. That's all the burning times was: inciting fear to grab power. That has to be stomped out at first bloom, regardless of where the finger pointing leads. So far I have seen the pagan community stand up and fight back when their rights as individuals are stomped upon. I am actually very proud of how I have seen some pagans handle this with grace and panache: elders and youngers.

Our community is filled with brilliance through both academia and gnosis. It is sort of hard to see that through all the spit sometimes. It sounds like we (as a community) are needing to individually do some internal work focusing on self respect and communal respect. I'll think on that for a bit and get back to you.


P.S.
If you ever refer to me as an Elder or call me Lady to my face. . . I may become very upset and growly. Mrs. Oddly will do. x_O

Pointy boots and cords

I had a short but effective meditation this afternoon. I am working with Brigit closely as I will be hosting her in a about a weeks time and want to be as ready for that experience as possible including making sure that I have severed any unwanted and unnecessary cords. Clearing up my aura I noticed that there were loads of cords attached at my back, a bad thing, and wondered where they came from as I gently pulled them out. Familiar faces came to mind as each one was removed and the funny thing was I hadn't thought or spoken to these individuals in quite some time.

That's when I heard Brigit speak: just because you have not thought or interacted with them, does not mean that they are not thinking of you. 

I can feel the places where I patched my aura back up. They are still sort of glowing. I hope what ever it is that has caused these individuals to attach cords to me resolves well and that they discover that they hold their own light. I do however find it interesting that I would feel pulled to perform this sort of working shortly on the heels of picking up a black tourmaline stone and starting to work with it. I haven't felt pulled to do that as strongly as I did this afternoon in quite some time. The last time I performed this ritual, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself pretty clear and free of unnecessary cords so imagine my surprise this afternoon. I suppose these things happen for a reason, or so I am constantly reminded. I will have to count this as a reminder that as I walk through this place my actions and words affect people around me in a manner that stays with them for quite some time. I hope that it has been a positive impact. ( or at the very least, a much needed swift kick in the arse with my pointy boot!)

My Brigid ritual will be later than most this year because I will be taking the kids to Tuscon so my husband can film at the house with out us in the way. I will be visiting the gem show stuff that is in town and definitely staying out of enclosed places with huge geodes. Last year I got this killer migraine from that. I hope to catch Inner Traditions at their stall and possibly pick up some new material to read. I hope that there is stuff left because apparently everything will be on sale!!! ( please leave something cool for me . . . please ;) My little one will be thrilled because he will get to ride the bus, my eldest will be displeased because he will be doing as many chores for Oma and Opa as possible seeing as how he is in some VERY deep crap with his Mom right about now. Miss B will be probably trying to bargain down prices with shop owners ( she is a very shrewd shopper.) and I will be baking up my famous lemon lasagna at my Mom's ( seeing as how I have lemons pouring into my back yard still. Yea!)

I may not get a whole lot of meditation time while I am at my parent's house, but it will be good to see them and catch up. I will be asking my Dad to give me the Enclosure lecture one more time so that I have it fresh in my mind when I relate it to you and how it affects the witching community at large. My Mom will probably roll her eyes and fall asleep, she's heard it sooooo many times!

The dead

As a witch I acknowledge three types of the dead: Beloved, Mighty and Ancient. I work with them. I do not command them nor do they command me. It is relationship much like the kind you would develop over time with the living. 

My first experience with the dead was pretty typical of anyone elses' experience with the dead: my Grandmother who had passed the veil. This type of experience is classified as the Beloved Dead. One whom you knew in life and loved dearly. The dead in this category are generally easy and safe to work with as they have you best interests at their hearts core. They are easily called upon. More often than not, they show up without being called upon. The beloved dead can also include any furry/ feathered/ scaled friends that you may have kept company with.

The Mighty Dead is usually associated with traditions and large groups of people. For example: in specific traditions of the craft there are those who pass the veil and remain in contact with the living members of that magical tradition. They can be called up in times of need for assistance and guidance. It is rare that they just show up. The situation for that to happen is usually dire. However, we can also break this category of the dead up into association by country. For America our Mighty dead would consist of the founders of the country as well as anyone who has served in the military and has passed the veil. This category can also include national heros and icons. A recent example of this would be Pat Tilman: Football player and Army Ranger. Working with the Mighty Dead requires that you use a whole bunch of common sense. They do not live your life, they sometimes have their own agenda that is not compatible to your situation. They are more interested in the good of the of the whole they represent.

The Ancient Dead are just that. They are the dead of those whose names have been long forgotten to history and have walked a similar path to your own. In my case these would be the witches, the wise women, sages and healers who feet tread the crooked path before history was recorded. They generally are the bringers of prophesy, warning and revealers of secrets lost to history. They do show up and when they do it is often an unnerving experience. Not because they are of malevolent intent, it is usually because they power they bring with them heralds from long ago and has done nothing but increase in strength for thousands of generations. When working with the Ancient Dead, common sense and caution in the extreme are highly necessary. While they may be trying to show or teach you something, the message and power they are revealing to you are hardly safe to dabble with. You either commit to it or you do not attempt it at all. To do anything other than commit to it, should you agree to take lesson from the Ancient Dead, is to be scalded by the light. The policy the Ancient Dead seem to take is: don't call us. We'll call you.

Why, Nalaya, are you bringing this up??? Why why why?? It's not even Samhain yet!

Because the dead are not relegated to a season. They are always there, they are always watching and appreciate it when you remember them through out the year's wheel. They are more likely to help you out if you treat them like you would treat one of your living friends. Light a candle, have an open dialogue with them, leave an offering of something they like. In my tradition, and I am sure this is true of others as well, there is an altar in the West set up just for them.

While the Samhain season makes it easier to communicate with the dead, if you work with them throughout the year's wheel, the veil no longer becomes an obstacle.

The dead have few friends; be one of them.

     

Lead Pentacle Point: Realization

I have had a few surprising visits this last week. My Oath Mother showed up to let me know that she didn't really want to expand our Feri Group and she want to ascertain whether or not I was ready to teach solo. I have been initiated a year. . . I am in no position to teach solo. I thought I was a few months back, but I came to realize as things rolled in that I am not.

There are those who have taught right out of the gate and have done a fine job of it. I, however, have things still flooding in from guides, from Fae friends, from the "P"people ( I'll explain in a bit), from the Gods themselves. I have have even had things roll in from the departed Grandmasters of the tradition. Needless to say, teaching solo? No room on my plate to do so and hope to do a good job. I have even had to pull out of the community goings on so I can focus on what is going on with me. I can't hope to serve the family well if I can't take time to do the work asked of me.

The second interesting visit was not so much a physical visit as a phone call. My Mother had called to let me know she had found some information from the Pleiadian's about an odd marking that showed up on my body years ago. It was an odd mark. There was really no logical explanation for its presence. Later there was another mark that showed up on a different part of my anatomy. Same profile on that marking as well. . . absolutely no discernible cause for its presence.  These marks are about a decade old now and I have to really look close to find them. They look like old scars. My Mom told me what she had found and suddenly my 'P ' people guide was poking at me to pick up a book I have. I randomly flipped open the book and received the message I was supposed to hear. That was neat.

While working with the 'P' people I have heard about over and over two different classes. Light Worker and warrior. Well I am equipped for light work, I can carry the frequency, but the longer and further I went into my Feri training, the more I realized: I am not a light worker. I must be something else. I don't know what; I sense many different hands stirring the cauldron here, Gods, Fae and Celestial Beings alike. . .

There was a third "visitation" from someone studying in the Feri community. She made the statement that large things were shifting and there were things that needed to be talked about and that I must add my voice to the mix. She expressed concern that the community was falling apart and splitting, which may indeed appear to be so. Most things in transition do. She later expressed an amount of anger because I refused to roll up my sleeves and be a team player. 

The truth is, a community is much larger than the ones who "roll up their sleeves to do the work"  at the center of the community. There are many jobs that don't even get recognized until they are not done. Not every member of the community is going to want to be on a list. Not every member of the community is going to share every piece of lore and magic they have with the whole community. . . It may be inappropriate to do so. Not every member of the community is going to feel comfortable walking at the center of the community. . . there are those who feel more comfortable at the fringes and edges. Not every member of the community will communicate exclusively with with traditional divinities, beings and guides. . . some may have cross pollinated and that is fantastic. It makes for a greater diversity and understanding. Not every member of the community is going to want to handle and sort out the drama no matter how important it may seem.

 Each of these members have figured out their place in the community. There's even a point on the Lead pentacle that speaks about this: realization. Each of these members are just as vital and valuable to the community as the one who gets in the drama and rolls up their sleeves to 'do the work.' You may find yourself surprised by how much you can't accomplish with out them.

Am I a roll up your sleeves girl? Yup. Can I get a job done? Yup? Am I a get in the middle of a Drama Girl??? Nope. . .  got too much to do. I'll leave the Drama for drama queens and diplomats to sort through. Do I feel bad about saying no to diving back into the tangle? Not any more. It's not my place.