Thursday, June 30, 2011

" I am going to go find the goddamn faeries!"

I finished Signe Pike's Faery Tale  while I was waiting for delivery and phone people. I had seen it on the shelves in book stores but never really had the opportunity to pick it up. I really got the bug to pick it up after I listened to her interviews with Fire Lyte on Inciting A Riot podcast. I just knew, I had to get my hands on this book! In proper Mrs. Oddly fashion, I devoured it! From faery stamped cover to green and twisted vine cover! She felt like someone who had similar experiences to mine, but had to go through so much more trial than I did to just believe. I don't think she believes any more. I think she took that experiential leap that takes you from thinking something is so to knowing it to be truth. She went a step further and shared her journey with a large audience. Brave, brave thing to do and I thank her for that courage. There are many of us out there who know about that hidden world. Many more are out there who believe in it and just haven't had the experience to know. I am hoping that this book leads to the believers leaping in to knowing. I am hoping that this book creates more believers. This world and humanity needs a little magic desperately.

The day after I had finished reading this book was the day we actually started spending evenings in the house. I had been getting up early to water all the landscaping with a hose because I had believed that when I had the plumber out to fix the broken water valve that lets water into the house, I had messed up the irrigation system. The kindly neighbor came out and told me that I had everything on a drip system. I told him what had happened and he pursed his lips and decided to take a look for himself. He tilted his head upon looking at it and pronounced that all was well with the system and then proceeded to tell me how to use it. HUZZAH!!!! Promptly afterward, I had taken a spill and scraped up and bruised my knees pretty good; my favorite jeans are headed toward being cutoffs for the summer. I saw in my mind's eye a being slowly slide his hand horizontally to the earth across his chest. It reminded me of Grandfather in Thunder Heart. Fair trade.

Danica S. Benson
 I guess since I am new here, there is a period of let's get to know each other before we declare friendship. I sat down to ponder this on the stoop of my front door and to see how much damage I had done to my hide when I looked over to see a white preying mantis looking at me. I leaned in to get a closer look and the darndest thing was that it leaned in to look at me closer as well. So I decided to speak to it and express my thanks for returning an hour and a half of my time a day by sending me someone who could show me that I hadn't screwed up the system after all. More Huzzah! It sat there tilting and nodding it's head as though it were really listening. Yes, I do think that this white preying mantis was not as it appeared. The Celts often told stories of white faery creatures, so it is not too far off to think that this white preying mantis was indeed from that realm.

I have seen the 'footprints' of faeries all over this house. When I asked the Star Goddess to help me find the perfect home for me and my family to live in, I guess she figured that it had better be acceptable to faeries or already have them living here. I suspect that they have been here for quite a long time. The landscaping here is a bit on the wild side with things growing into each other. I have also learned that before trimming something I had better make some sort of declaration that I am not cutting the whole plant down and just doing healthy maintenance. I trimmed the dead vines off the jasmine plant in the back and I was received by hordes of flying things bombarding my face until I told them I was just cutting off the dead parts. The angry horde of buzzing immediately went away. Yup, I think there is a whole clan of trooping faeries in and around my house and I do feel as though I am being carefully observed.

So everyone, in the name of magic, faeries, knowing and believing, raise your left hand and repeat after me. . . aloud please. . . " I am going to go find the goddamn faeries!"

Now get up and search for enchantment in your modern world. I promise, it is all around you, waiting for you to become sharper.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I am Story. . . who are you???

A Feri sister asked the other day: if you could describe your life as a fairy tale which would it be? I thought about this question with all do seriousness as any addle brained person in transition would. Something to remove the hostile grounds of boxes, tape, heat and sore muscles. I loved the question and realized that it was a serious question indeed as it would be very revealing to my psyche so it had better be accurate.

I delved into all of the old ones I love. Grimms came to mind, but that's not what screamed into my ears with any relevance at all to my life. What popped into mind as most reflective of me was Lady in the Water. I know, nothing old and historic with thousands of years standing behind it. It is a modern fairy tale set in a modern world, told by a modern shaman. But it seems to be accurate of my life's patterns. I am Story. I point out the purpose and direction of the lives of those around me who seem to be lost in the pattern this world weaves around them. I seem to be a compass of sorts, just like Story. Her very presence helps people unravel the map of their lives. I love Story. She is naive and courageous at the same time. She has no idea how brave she is. In fact, she feels weak and insecure in the world she has been dropped into, I relate to that. She is more worried about everyone elses' lives than what her role amongst her people is. She does not realize the enormity of her mission and what it means for her. Her own success is not at the top of her mind. She is wrapped up in Cleaveland's life. The people around her seem to discover more about her mystery than she can guess. She is only worried about one thing: her vessel.

I was much younger when this happened and I am only now beginning to understand the implications of it. I was in a smoke shoppe cafe holding on to my journal calendar. It was the early '90's. A elder man looked at me and the journal I was carrying observing the questions I was asking the barista. He turned to me and spoke mystifying words to me at the time: " You are a chronicler of the soul." He was striking black man with stark white hair and beard. I had never seen anything as beautiful as the contrast of this.   I had no response for his statement. What does a young 20 something nitwit like me say to that???? I bowed my head in embarrassment trying to puzzle out what that meant. Yes, indeed, I used to consider myself as dull, dumb and a waste of oxygen, probably space as well. I am older now, I have realized that in my youth I allowed others to define me and relegate me to a place on a shelf of triviality and delusion. It was a time when a person like myself who saw things differently was not acceptable. Some of the people I hung out with took my gift of reading cards and signs as a cry of needing attention instead of a boon.

I think as we are growing into who we are to become we have no idea how important we are to the whole of the web. One string attaches to  another and therefore is an important part of the web, for if it is severed the web becomes undone and is weaker for it's absence. Therefore it is important to recognize what thread and what color you are in the web. So I ask you, what fairy tale to do fit in? It need not be a fairy tale of old. It can be a modern one, there are many to choose from. Are you Snow White, or are you Unbreakable. Who are you? You need not answer to me, you can peruse this question in solitude. I would be interested in hearing your answers, of course, but it is more important to recognize yourself.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The switch is stuck!

Every once in a while I surface from the land of Odd and get a good look around at how the 'normal' folk are doing. I'm not even certain what the heck normal is, but bear with me anyway. I came to notice this morning how that the folk seem to be stuck. Stuck in the muck and mire. It's the first thing to get mentioned and noticed by most people these days. Negative, negative, negative. . . it's all over the place en masse. . . the news echoes this on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. . . some of those networks stream the stuff non stop. Some would say that it is the cause of the stuckness, but instead, I actually think that it is a reflection of our own stuckness.

In Kundalini Yoga, they speak of each person having three minds: positive, neutral and negative. In a balanced state, all three minds are communicating together and working in harmony to paint an entire picture of what you are viewing. Guess what mind I think we are stuck in? I think we rush through life in a frenzy to get to that meeting, to get to work on time, get all the daily chores done and keep up with the family if there's extra time. I think we are cheating ourselves and everything around us by living this way. I more than think we are cheating ourselves. I think we are creating a feeding frenzy of negativity that ultimately does great harm. I think we may end up devouring ourselves if we can't figure out how to flip the switch. So here are some thoughts to ponder upon:

When was the last time you stopped and listened to the birds in your neighborhood? What sounds are these birds making? What kind of bird is making these sounds? How many individual birds are calling? Can you hear the difference between the individuals? What kind of trees are in your immediate area? What kind of condition are they in? Are they wind blown, are they neatly pruned or are they wild? Is the bark smooth or dry and rough? How does it feel to step into the shade of one of these trees? How does your skin feel when it is shielded from the sun by the leaves? Can you feel the tree breathe? What about the ground you are standing on? Is it hard cement or is it moist earth, or maybe even grass? Are there ants, butterflies, or cicadas living with the tree? How does the tree affect your breathing?

The pace of nature is slow and patient. It is also the pace of nature that allows the chains of the mind to loosen and fall back into balance.  That switch that oscillates between the minds unlocks and discovers beauty, intelligence and opens the mind to the wonder around you. I know we all have a gazillion things that have to get done yesterday, but in the spectrum of things what is ten minutes a day to go outside and visit with your tree and allow the mind to readjust? We move too fast to see the fine details of things. Take a slow walk around your neighborhood and use all of your senses to observe. Allow your switch to fall back into balance and you may notice that things are much better than you thought they were.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Cats in walls, broken water valves, box names oh my!

It must be Monday!

The other night when I went over to the house to check on things, I saw a white blur through the back door.  I wasn't entirely sure what it was I saw, but tonight my hubby saw it. It is a white kitty that has been left behind, most likely because it slipped into the walls to hide during the madness of moving. It entered the wall where the refrigerator use to be. Now tonight, I have to go over and try to lure it out before the new refrigerator gets there. I have already been told I can't keep it. So, I have to find a home for the little one once I get it out of the walls. I am hoping for someone who wants a kitty to love on.

I spent most of today waiting for someone to fix the valve that lets water to enter the house. It broke in the off position this morning while I was out putzing around with it. So, none of the work I planned on getting done got done until after two in the afternoon. Well, at least it held up so I could deliver water to the plants. And Yup! I'm blaming Neptune and his crazy backward dance for that. Ok maybe the rusty valve had a role to play. . .

As crazy as any transitional period gets, I am laughing my way through it because I know that if I loose my cool or freak out I may miss something important or very cool. Our boxes are labeled with weird titles like: supernatural artifacts: do not taunt box, frightening things from the abyss and random weirdnesses from the closet monster. By the way, we are never gonna find our stuff when we need it. We may just continue the trend with a new box called " shoot her. . . " a quote from Jurassic Park. It actually has one of my son's toy dinosaurs that roars every time you move the box. Should be fun!

I have no idea what to make of the kitty situation. I am sure the owner is distraught at leaving her kitty, at least I am hoping she is. We contacted our realtor about the situation. I am hoping that when we get little kitty, out its mama is gonna want it back. In the mean time, I hope Bast is with me tonight when I go over to get the poor thing out.

Any ideas on cat lore and houses????

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Interesting door numbers

13th Sky Fine Art Photography
I can hear my inner voice repeating the same words today: Oak, doorways, mysteries, go.

I have been giving some thought to curiosities about the places I have lived here in Az. When I first moved back from Wisconsin after Miss B was born, our apartment number was 1013. . . any X file fans out there? And yes, my life in that apartment would keep the X files burgeoning. Interestingly, this particular apartment in the complex was not listed on the directory and therefore our pizza was always late.

We later moved into a three bedroom apartment across town. It was an upstairs apartment with a balcony that faced a major surface street. Yes it was very loud and busy. There were car crashes at that intersection on a regular basis and I think I saw them all. There were several times when random women showed up on the doorstep, some of them with small children, seeking the use of my phone and temporary refuge from abusive partners. The police would show up and take notes while I brewed tea in the kitchen. I even had a brush with a man who would later be called the Baseline Killer while living here. ( but that's another story) The number on this apartment was 2072. 2+0+7+2=11. The number eleven is a gate way. . . even looks like it. During this period every time I turned around 11:11 showed up! Drove me crazy!

The place I am in now is the universe once again chuckling. 1076, simply another variation of 1013. This time it's not the cool hidden home like Grimmauld place in Harry Potter, but for what ever reason. . . people still can't find it. And once again this is the X-file place with more of a lean on the Harry Potter business.

The home that we are buying, it's numerology adds up to six. In accordance to the reading of playing cards, 6's are about the path that the querent will walk. So, if I am to look at the pattern of the energies of the places I have lived, the pattern would be: mystery,  gateway,  mystery, walk. Is it possible that I have finally landed on the right path for me? Or is it that I have been thick headed, didn't get it before and Hecate needed a heavier club to beat me with? Or maybe, just maybe, the timing was wrong and things needed to happen before I could get to the path so I got put into a circular holding pattern until things could be properly placed. Who really knows but Her, but it is kind of interesting to observe.

Monday, June 13, 2011


Astrology is not really my forte. Not because I don't think it's relevant mind you, but simply because I was busy studying other things. I always figured I'll get to it. Well here I am getting to it and Neptune retrograde certainly has caught my attention. Not because Neptune retrograde is a bad thing, in fact there are loads of reasons to cheer for this event. Neptune retrograde caught my attention because I was trying to understand what the heck was going on with all the water issues I have seen happen since Neptune way out there in deep space started dancing backward. Neptune will be dancing backward for quite some time as well: June 3rd - November 9th!

One of the things that was pointed out to me as I was scouring the web was that the outer planets with longer solar transit patterns do not get as precise and as close to home as the inner planets like Mercury, Luna, Venus, etc. . . I think however that's the thing the fascinates me about Neptune. Neptune is literally the far of depths the mind and space. Things get stirred there and rise up like the stuff at the bottom of a cauldron that's been sitting too long. While I know at this very moment you are thinking of the horrible sludge and murk and mire of issues and other bad stuff, while you are not entirely mistaken, there are other things that sit at the bottom of our cauldrons: inspiration, creativity, inner vision; all things of great and powerful healing.

So let's get the bad news out of the way and end on a happy note here. The bad news is that you are correct in thinking that with Neptune being in retrograde bad things can surface. For the next several months it is very possible that you will have internal issues crop up and bite you in the behind. If you do not deal with them right now they will only become worse when Neptune goes direct. Thinking that you can bury it once Neptune brought it to surface will be a very large mistake. The best solution, from what I understand, is to allow a release to happen. Whether you talk about it or journal it or draw it, get it out of your system, let it go so you can resolve the issue once for all.

Neptune is also prone to making you feel paranoid and suspicious of the intentions and actions of others. He embodies the secrets and mysteries of the deep and unseen. These secrets are both wondrous and treacherous. To make things even more fun Mercury is in Gemini as Neptune does his dance AND they will square off meaning that you must be careful with your communications because it is very likely that there will be a misunderstanding that will further the paranoia and suspicious tendencies brought about by Neptune's influence. It will be very important to examine things carefully and listen to your internal voice.

Now for the good news!

Neptune in retrograde increases your natural ability to perceive the unseen world. You will now have that helping hand to see further than before or to cultivate your own skills in the divination and psychic realms of your craft. Our senses of perception are opened far wider during this period. Neptune is also related to our creative and spiritual lives. Now is a good time to reaffirm your daily, weekly, monthly rituals and creative endeavors will flourish. Watch and record your dreams. You may not see hard evidence of the work that you do right now, but when Neptune goes back to his usual forward pattern the proof will manifest and you will be glad that you took advantage of the backward motion.

For those who are encountering internal issues during this time and are seeking a bit of help, wearing or carrying a piece of black tourmaline can be of great positive influence.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Congratulations and thank you!

Well the last few days have been a roller coaster that included taking little man to the doctor to get his 4 year shots. He's feeling a bit under the weather, fever and everything, but nothing unusual for shot aftermath. Really, it's nothing Tylenol, reiki and a bit of TLC can't fix.

On another branch of the roller coaster is the fact that you guys are amazing! When I entered this contest, I did so on the principle that no one should be silenced. You guys put on your boots and took that to the voting polls! You not only put on your boots, you handled yourselves with grace in the face of blatant hate speech. RESPECT! I know that there were many other moms of all faiths who agreed with this principle and also voted for pagan blogs as well. Thank you to all of you for your votes and patience with the vote reminders.

Congratulations to all bloggers who entered the contest!

Congratulations to the top 25!


Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom
Women Living Well
I Take Joy

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Friends by Band of Skulls - Lyrics and New Moon Tie In

This is your victory song my friends. . . thank you for all the love! Love Love Love!

The Holy Ones that love us. . .

I went and saw Thor for my birthday the other day. While I am not Norse and nor am I a follower of the  Norse Gods, It brought to mind several concepts that I do adhere to. Our Grandmaster had a quote that I love: "The Holy ones love us with the same love with which we love one another, but raised to the power of Divinity. It is older than law. It is older than reason." 

That being said, the Gods also must have other emotions raised to the same power. In my mind they not only have complicated relationships with the other Gods in their realms, but also potential foes with the same power as they. The Gods, therefore must have similar vehicles of learning things like honor, mirth, reverence, integrity. For Thor, it was a banishment. Stripped of all power, he was made to be human. Odin, his father and possibly greatest teacher, had no problem with tossing him into the ocean and leaving him to sink or swim on is own. This is a mark of a wise and great teacher, divinity or not. It was not done out of anger, even though in the moment Odin was indeed angry with his son, it was done out of love. An inner knowing that his son could do better with the proper lesson. I think we call this tough love.

I also loved the idea that Bifrost in this movie was a real, tangible bridge that could reach out into the universe and touch other realms; that all realms were united by the tree of life, Yggdrasil. Many pagan traditions speak of the tree of life. As pagans we can relate to how all things, including realms in the Universe, can be connected by this. I thought this was an eloquent discussion within the movie. My own experience with the Gods suggests that the Gods are much more than we could imagine and magic just may be a technology we do not understand yet. I wonder how many times we have actually run into one of these Gods unaware. There are many stories in folk lore that speak of this phenomenon. Even today in Hawai'i there are very recent stories of running into Pele. In my mind this is very plausible that I may run into Hecate, Krom, or any other God within any other pantheon that chooses to appear.

I believe that the Gods are real and imminent. They are not some far off intangible being with a half hearted interest that move us across an invisible chess board. I believe that they love us with their immense hearts and want the best for us inspite of the fact that some of them have a very different perspective on what the pattern of life looks like.

At the end of the movie when Thor is looking over the edge of the broken bridge between the worlds, he is asking about the human he had fallen for and seems pleased, elated even, that she is seeking him out. He is looking out into the Universe knowing that he is loved as much as he loves. Seekers, give yourself permission to find and you too will be elated. Don't just give yourself permission, go do it, with what ever means you have on hand. Love and you will be loved in return. That is a promise.

Monday, June 6, 2011

A sacred deconstruction

I am slowly tearing down my home and putting it into boxes. I am having a wide range of emotions as I do so. I am very excited about buying a house. It's going to be a great thing on many different levels for everyone in our household including the faeries who choose to live with me. Right now they are all up in arms about their nests being jostled, but they seem to understand that this is going to be a great thing when we finally get everything resettled.

My living room and house in general has become a labyrinth of boxes that we are learning to weave around and it only grows taller as we pull shelves, books and piles of my husband's scripts and notes out. The kids however are in a land of a thousand toys right now. Including one Mr. Box that they have drawn faces on. Currently, Mr. Box is starring in their own series of videos that they have been creating with the little camera my daughter got for her birthday.

I have been quietly listening to the Gods as I get ready for my shift on this next eclipse. I know that things will surely be in disarray as it rolls in. I am trying to catch the energetic tides from all angles on this shift I know that I will be needing the extra energy, but who knew that at the time the universe was shifting things here in this plane that I would literally swept up in it? I am finding things that have been long lost and finding things that should have been long let go. I am rediscovering characters I am writing about their voices and their world is re enveloping me in the ideas of what it is to become part of a mystery. Not just the fictional mystery they are weaving around me, but the mystery that I myself walked into when I agreed to become an initiate.

As much as I feel that I am weaving my own tapestry, I feel the hands and hear the voices of the Gods guiding me and giving me ideas on how to make things I desire manifest. It is told in my tradition that the Prime Creatrix manifested everything She created out of divine love. She has nudged me out into the world to create things out of my own love for what I do, for my family and has shown me that there are many wonders to behold. As the eclipse rolls in, even as the state of my household will be in chaos, I know that there is a sacred deconstruction going on. I will be deciding what is love and what is fear and releasing or keeping those things in accordance to the ideals of divine love. The mystery unfolds around me and I am in awe of the transformative power of it.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Switchfoot - Dare You To Move

To all of us who have fallen on our faces at anytime in our lives!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Friends in pots and and light.

We are doing some serious evaluating at the Oddly House. .  er apartment. As many of you know already, we are purchasing our first house and will have to pack things up and move them into a larger place than we have now. My husband is going over interior details of moving things: kids rooms, furniture appliance delivery etc, cable and electricity. . . my concern: plants. I have spent years and years cultivating my little garden in their pots. Moving them with the sun to be certain they don't broil in the summer heat or starve/ freeze in the winter light. Some of their pots, by standards of terra cotta planters, are down right ancient. I fear a crumbling is on its way.

I spend a lot of time talking with my plants and listening to their daily grind in the sun or the moon trying to figure how best to help them thrive in their little pots. These are my friends. They generously offer my their leaves flowers and fruits for my potions both magic and healing, They are company when my husband is off taking care of filming business or at the day job. They are respite from the general household noise of three children playing inside not so quietly. I have been in this arrangement with these plants on my patio for five years. Now I have to tell them that we are going to disrupt their pattern, shift their light, and jostle their roots much more than they have ever been jostled before. I'm not looking forward to this task but it must be done. I have treated these plants as magical friends and allies.

I know that some of these plants are just waiting to have their feet put in the earth. I am hoping that they take this whole jostling expedition as a new adventure where some of them will get to leave the confines of the pot and join the root choir of the earth. My aloes however, will have to remain in their pots. They will take over the yard in a heartbeat.

Not only is moving the plants a concern. I have to ask help of the local spirits that help me care for them to come along as well. I am uncertain whether it is my garden that attracted them or if they are bound to the land here at the apartment complex and I have been here long enough where they find the investment of their energies worth the effort.

I will have to say good bye to the trees I have been making offerings to for sheltering my home from heat and wind. I will miss them. I will miss the triple crossroad sidewalks everywhere I turn here. I will miss the dogs that parade by at all hours of the day and night while taking their friends out for a walk. I will miss the old feral tom cat that curls up on my chair at night to sleep. Although Nike won't. She goes crazy with another cat out on her patio.

There are things I do know about this process. I do know that the baby dove who passed and is buried in one of my pots will be coming along. It is an interesting thing that has happened with her. She fell from her nest on to the sidewalk. I couldn't leave her there to become sidewalk mush to such things as children  riding bikes and scooters. So I picked her little shell up and buried it with offerings in one of my pots. Every now and again I hear wings stir. I didn't make the connection with her at first, but as I thought more about things I began to realize she has taken a place here at my home.

She will be most welcome at the new home. When my husband and I got the opportunity to look at the home we are buying in the beginning of the process we have been going through, there were a pair of doves that greeted us. It felt like a good omen from the beginning. Now we bring with us to a new home a baby dove's spirit. I am hoping that her presence will protect all future nestlings that are hatched in our trees and for those inevitable deaths that will come in the monsoons, a gentle guide to move their spirits through the gate. She has already shown herself to be a protector to my little ones. I am still fumbling around trying to figure the best way to make offerings to her. She has been most patient with me. I hope that during this move, she takes the jostling well.