Friday, August 31, 2012

A special disgust

I was thinking that it was probably a good thing not only for me, but for the people with big R's by their name, that I ended my subscription to the news paper. At this point, I may have cut out many pictures to go on a curse board with a needle encrusted something or another carved to look like a phallus. A wilted phallus. HOW can a man who claims to love his mother SOOOOOOO freaking much proclaim that RAPE IS A VIABLE FORM OF CONCEPTION? ( Hello Paul, WTF are you smoking because that vile poison should be unmade, not just banned, unmade and fizzled into an oblivion.)  While pregnancy can occur as a result of rape, it does not make the method of that conception acceptable in ANY form. In the days when abortion was banned,  the trauma induced by said conception has been known to drive the pregnant woman to commit suicide! Not that anyone would blame her, in fact there is a whole faction of society who would probably blame the rape on her while we should be teaching DON'T RAPE!

I am beside myself in a rage that leads to a special kind of disgust! A curse worthy kind of disgust. I can hear Malcolm Reynolds mutter about special hells and pretty floral bonnets in the back of my head while Wash practices letting his dino's eat GI Joe action figures. We are not even gonna talk about the fact that Zoe seems to be mysteriously missing along with most of the ship's arsenal and Inara is passing out, liberally, Venus Penis traps.

Rape is a word that should send shudders down your spine just to say regardless of your gender and orientation of sexual preference. Rape is not an acceptable form of ANYTHING!

 DON'T EFFing' RAPE!  



Don't get me wrong. This isn't just aimed at the statement that was made by Mr. Ryan,  Akins said something just as horrific, so have other male upper crust types. It's at epidemic proportions when people feel that it's ok to make jokes about struggle snuggles and say atrocious things in front of a very large televised and largely reported event. It's like something in them is broken and they do not understand vileness of what they are saying. Maybe they are broken. Maybe one of them or one of their friends have committed said atrocities and they are trying to convince themselves that nothing is wrong with rape as a means of conception or just getting some. This is aimed at ANYONE who thinks that rape is a means and method to any end.

The thing is that most of us understand that rape is not about sex. It's about power over and the inducement of terror to attain compliance. It is a wicked ugly beast who should be put down at every turn and scorned by every woman and man as blasphemy. Sex was meant to be a sacred sacrament between two consenting individuals.

Like I said in the beginning of this post, it is probably a VERY good thing that I quit my subscription to the newspaper. My curse picture collection would have been very impressive.


DON'T RAPE! ( or else)

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Look ma! No kitty lips!

I think I am sailing out the other end of the storm. I am tired. You know the kind that goes clear, deep into you. The stress has notably done unkind things with my fibro. If I have read the signs correctly, there is still a bit to go. I have sneaking hunches as to what it may be and I know that it will slam into the family like a wrecking ball. I have prepared myself for this by speaking with my own beloved dead about helping her to pass if that is what she chooses to do with the energy I am sending. You see I learned something while Cora was going through her death process. She had been in and out of the hospital and word spread that this trip was quite serious. The Feri community began to send healing energy in droves. She had helped so many others with her own brand of healing, how could I not participate in that? Then in the chaos of the moment there was Thorn who pointed out that maybe healing isn't what Cora really needed. She emphasized the idea that only Cora, at this point, knew what was best for her and that maybe instead of sending healing energy we should be sending her just energy for her to decide what to do with. That was the only thing that made sense to me and removed the dread of the inevitable news of Cora's passing. She passed May 1st 2008. I got the phone call while celebrating my youngest child's 1st birthday with ice cream shop ice cream. It was a bitter sweet moment, but I am taking my cue from the lesson I learned from Thorn and Cora and sending my husband's Grandmother tons of energy. I have no idea how his family would react to this type of action so I guess mum's the word, but how can I not? She has done me many kindnesses. I am preparing myself to help my husband mourn his grandmother's passing, so I guess the feathers and the order of their discovering really were the portends I thought they were when they started lining up on my altar after morning walks. I hope I still have a good hand left on the helm.

I know that things regardless of what actually happens, things will be okay. During the darkness of this storm I started to see light shine through; my oath mother had gifted me with some black heart beads she had specially commissioned. She wanted beads that threaded side to side and discovered that 99.99 percent of the black heart beads she was looking for strung from top to  bottom. Three of those little jewels are now in my most grubby, witchy hands and I'm 'a gonna hoarde those babies! I know it sounds weird to hear (read) someone say that the arrival of black hearts, or any other said sign, brings peace, but that's my truth. The white/ grey dove's feather I found this morning only confirms that light indeed is dawning on the horizon. I look forward to a smooth sea and a calm nights star gazing.

My cat must even recognize that her mama's a bit of a train wreck this morning. She didn't stick her lips under the door and yowl merceilessly until I got out of bed. Usually, I am greeted first thing in the morning ( before my coffee: most dangerous btw) with a pitiful yowling that seems to echo off of EVERYTHING! It's like she has figured out just the right tone, timber and location to stick her head under the door and start in with that horrible Halloween sound track. It's like she grew extendable kitty lips for just the right amount of annoyance. I actually got coffee this morning without the full frontal frenzy assault. It was nice to not try and think this morning with out miss kitty lips and her 2 cents. I'll let you know when the storm is gone. Thank you for your patience with me. I know I have been off and on MIA.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Brass sun tool.

I didn't really understand what it was I was missing when I decided to start working with a large brass tray in my magic. The desire for this type of magic came during a time when I became sharply aware of how my SAD affects me. Our landlord had decided that everyone would be getting solar blocking screens on their windows. I had to get a note from my dr. to have the manager remove them. I remember seeing a picture of an altar somewhere on the web that displayed a working within a brass tray and fell in love with how it made me feel. I realized that it was the same warm, radiant solar energy as soon as I stepped outside into the heat of the day. I remember staying int he Midwest during the winter and how I craved to get in the car and sit in the sun to get that radiant warmth feel.Those memories and thoughts forced me to re-look over the properties of brass. Ok: fire and the sun. . . well sheesh there you have it. I was getting a tray!

I didn't spend a lot of money on my tray. I paid $7 at a thrift shop. There were even several brass trays to choose from. Everything just fit all together from the moment I decided to get a brass tray to the moment I brought it home and cleared it. For a while, I had to convince Nike that it was not her sleeping bowl. She actually leaves it alone now that I have had it seasoned and put it to full use.

Over the last couple of year wheels of working with my brass tray, there are things that I have noticed.  I have used it to help project out workings, I have used it as a healing platform. I have laid out almost all of my spells and craftings upon it. Somewhere during this process, I developed a tool that is as much the Sun as my mirror is the moon. Literally, I have put the power of the sun upon my altar.

Part of the ritual I perform while setting a new altar, is to recharge the brass tray. I take it out in the bright of the day and hold it to face the sun until the tray is hot and humming. There is this moment during this process that never ceases to fascinate me. It is the moment the metal starts warming in my hands as I am holding the tray aloft, standing in its shadow. I can feel the cool of the shadow protecting my face, but all the sun's rays seem to start dancing around the out line of my body. I feel like a mirage appears during that moment. It grows in pitch and I break it before I think I may go numb from standing still for so long. Each time I did this I could feel my stamina come back. I had been on a cycle of being under the weather off and on since we moved into the new house. I mostly attribute it to change of life stress, but I do know that the brass tray magic has contributed to my healing processes either through  energetic properties or how those properties cause me to think and act in my own interest.

While casting and blessing at my altar, there is another thing I grew to appreciate. I love setting my hands upon the brass edges of my tray and pour energy into the working laid upon it. In my mind's eye, I could see the energy snake through it, following the designs until the entire tray was engulfed and saturated with power. Then at the right moment, shoot it off like a rocket in the correct direction. It enabled me to improve upon my long term workings. I discovered that even if I was not doing a working for healing, prosperity, or protection, the tray was well worth using for just it's projective tendencies.

I will not begin to dictate how a brass sun tool as such should be honored and blessed. I will only relate to you that through ritual blessings on solar holidays and enlivening before working with the power of the noon day sun *or any other property/timing of the sun you wish to harness. ie. twilight.* has its rewards, most of which I will allow for you to discover yourself.   ;)

I am only a couple of years into my work with this tool. I do not claim that I know everything there is to know about this sort of work. I am looking forward to discovering more about this tool and how it interacts with my own self discoveries. What I do know, is that bringing the power of the sun within my temple space has made large, positive differences in my life. I think I am seeking a balance between the powers of the moon, which I have spent so of my magic career under, and the power of the sun. It is only in the last 5 years that I had started to work more with male divinities as a Feri student. It seems only proper that they have asked for a greater influence in my magic, or maybe they just wanted me to have a beneficial tool. Who knows how the gods really think. I don't.

I think I'll just say thank you for the great tool.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Slightly off kilter post migraine post

I have to warn you that I had a migraine that dropped me on my head yesterday. While I feel okay today, I am going through the normal "scattered file syndrome" so this posting may be complete and utter random madness.

I have been spending some time looking at how my Ancestor work has been progressing since I began looking into my paternal Grandfather's birth culture. Ms. Graveyard Dirt threw down a gauntlet last year ( love ya sweets.) I thought that it was a most worthy challenge and I was in the right space and frame of mind to go there. There have been many occurrences that I have written down in a journal, but for every one there is written, I can point to several others that I have not. I think that, this year, Samhain will be very interesting and very personal. My only suggestion to anyone who is looking to do ancestor work is to be sure you are ready to see the proof of your work. Speaking of work, you will only get out of the work what you put in.

I think from now on, one of the things I am going to have to do is start the Sugar Plum Faery Vodka at Samhain so it will be good and ready come time for Yule Feasting. Sort of a Witching Hour with Grandpa type thing. 

( Thank you Ms. Dirty: I'm keeping the gauntlet.)

Speaking of my roots, Russian Justice Dept. . . really two years for a 30 second song??? Admittedly, I have never heard Pussy Cat Riot or anything of their work. I have not heard the song that got them the evil eye of the Russian Justice system. Frankly, I don't give a damn about what that song was saying at this point. It's the idea that these people were told to shut up or we are going to do horrible things to you. Really Russia, are you so far gone in your panic of losing power that you have to imprison people for 30 seconds of saying exactly what is on their minds?

Ugh!!! New Cup!

My library is quickly becoming the place where magic starts. It is a cross between ancestors and knowledge in there and it also a place where all the clocks stop working. Literally, time has stopped in that room and it is an interesting thing to notice while you are doing the work or steeped in a story.

It's been a little over a year since we bought this house. I knew it would be a good fit when we put in a bid on it and I am glad to know that part of my intuition is alive and humming along just fine. There are still things we need to get around to doing, like pulling out old nails to things we aren't going to hang, sealing up the screw holes and touching up the paint job or just flat out repainting. The back yard is starting to look like it may actually be growing grass. All that little bit at a time weeding I did last summer has paid off in spades. There is not a sow weed to be found in the grass, nor is there any of that thorn sticker plant. I may have to resort to stealing my sow weed when my root supply runs out. I can just hear the neighbors now: "Honey, that crazy lady in the straw hat is back. . . it looks like she picking more weeds."

It is that time of year when I start to pull together all my Samhain recipes for various things. I still have to get off my behind and pick up some supplies and list my new items in my shoppe. Most of what is going in to the shop is a direct result of my personal workings and the Guardian work I have been doing this last summer. It's not quite done. Sometimes these things manage to drag themselves out to meet a specific time line. Sort of like that bus going around the corner once, missing your stop to avoid a piece of misfortune should you have been able to get off the bus at your anticipated time. The Universe has it's own weird little tick tocks and time pauses that, in no way, do I claim to understand. I just take note, smile, and nod.

New cup!!!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Being MIA and learning to be bright

I know that I have MIA here for a while. I find that when I am compelled to silence, it is better not not write other wise I just sit infront of the computer with a long standing indent on my forehead from the whole head desk thing. I found that during these times, tweets and tumblr pics are more my cup o' madness tea. Thank you for taking the time to come back and read my pages. It surprised me how many of you kept coming back even though I was MIA. Thank you for that, you make me smile inside.

I have taken off my sandals and pressed my feet onto the cool tile. It makes me hot just looking outside. You can tell that the sun is blazing away out the window and the cool of the tile immediately pulls me back indoors. As of right now, there have been no further viridarium emergencies. I have figured out the pattern of heat exhaustion with the plants. Although the Melissa is doing a fair share of complaining, not that I blame her. Mr. Patchouli has setled nicely into his pot and is starting to do more than just cling to life. I actually felt comfortable enough to pinch off a few leaves! Who knows. Maybe by this time next year, I will have an over abundance and will be packaging up some of those viridarium treasures! I may have even successfully rooted a branch from my little rue plant that decided outside was definitely not her cup of tea. *fingers remaining crossed on that one* I have packaged up a few of my viridarium treasures to make sure what I have does not waste.

All of my witchlings have gone to school now and will return my now quiet home to it's loud racaus state in a few short hours. There may be tears involved if the behavior chart doesn't say green ( no TV.) I have found a strange thing has developed over the years. I may seek peace and quiet while everyone is hustling through the hearth, but when I get it, I am fidgety and constantly distracted. I am not talking about the ooooooo shiny distracted, I am talking about the I suddenly drop everything and listen really hard to the silence distracted. I think I need more practice with silence. Silent meditation time only comes at specific times here usually and now that I have more silence, I find it a little overwhelming. 

I have been keeping busy while I am on News Diet and while Mercury Rx does all the normal trickster things that get me in a huff on occasion. I have crafted a few new pieces of magic based up on things I have been working on and experienced with my guardian work so far this year. I am still not done with guardian work as there is another guardian left to go. I have to say that it has been a little turbulent over here, but it is the hot cooking turbulence that creates a perfect meal. The dish is not done yet, but there is an enticing aroma about the hearth now. I suppose you could say that I am experiencing the initial bubbling of the pot as you put in the pasta.

 I canceled my paper. I just can't hack the persistent uninvited clutter of anger and despair sitting on my doorstep, even if the circulars are in it. You know what happens: I open the paper and the latest, hottest buzz word catches my attention and then before you know I have read half of the article that leads to the rest of the article and I am now turning pages with zero resistance until I get to the why oh why did I read that??? mode. I may be a news addict. I'll just add that to meetings I should go to alongside the plantoholic hot line.

I have chosen several projects to immerse myself in while all of these shifting pieces of earth beneath me rearrange how I navigate, including few contributions to Samhain's Sirens a Halloween Blog with related postings and giveaways. I also have pet Yule project lined up as well. I will keep you posted as the projects develop. There looks to be quite a nice line up of bloggers involved so it is looking to be a great deal of fun! There are some Oddlings I would like to put together and other seasonal things I would like to get a hop on including getting my Blood Rose Shaman oil and incense put together. I have finally finished tweeking it. It's satisfying to put a recipe in my book with purple ink.

I feel rather aimless right now with the quiet house and I realize this piece probably reflects that fact. As I become more accustomed to the silence enveloping me, I hope to find myself back in the mode of being more focused and goal oriented. It's a transition, I know. The guardian work I have been doing has offered not just turbulence *as turbulence is often required to shift things* but hopeful solutions, unexpected surprises and gifts, and new avenues to places I thought I already knew.

It may be bright outside, but it's starting to feel like bright will happen inside as well.