Dear Mr. Grinch,
It is my understanding that you have been running around stealing Christmas spirit. While that is despicable, I suppose having a heart three times too small makes one inclined to perform such acts. I realize that you have been enabled by other cranky people, a weak economy, and a lack luster view on existence, but I will not coddle you because of your genetic deficiency. I will not make excuses for your choices of lifestyle. They are your choices and I will not deny you the right to make them, but I will not permit you to continue robbing me, my family and friends.
As of this date December fourteenth 2010, I have noticed a spiraling gloom as the holiday rolls closer. I became suspicious and checked my spirit box and, sure enough, it was bone dry empty. I consulted with several experts on the subject; they were all baffled until I came across a little one named Cindy Lou Who who promptly recognized the symptoms. She checked my spirit box and she reported that not even the pretty, shiny bow was left. She was certain in her diagnosis that I had been Grinched!
Since I am pagan and Celebrate Yule, you have no jurisdiction and therefore are in breach of contract as you are designated and restricted to the theft of Christmas. I realize the the normal order of things would be to plea my case and help you grow a larger heart so you return my holiday spirit of your own accord, but I do not hold to those ideals. Instead I am informing you that, as of this hour, I have released the dogs. They will hunt you down and drag you back to me. When they do, I will promptly tie you up with shiny silver beads and place a red star on your head! Then I will silence you with a cloven fruit and place you in the corner for all to see. Some may point and laugh. I will encourage this behavior. You will make a fine decoration this year Mr Grinch. I look forward to hanging tinsel on you.
After Yule has left and the New Year rung in with the voice of Kronos, I will release you back to the wild. Please understand that should you think about revisiting my spirit box you can expect similar treatment with variation of course. I like to make things different from year to year. Enjoy the hunt!