Monday, July 22, 2013

Beginnings are a most delicate time. . .

It's now sticky hot and the mirages shimmer more intensely on the road as I take my walks. Sometimes I think I can see a glimmering of somewhere else in those fleeting little mirrors. I thought in the beginning of summer that I was going to completely desiccate and be reduced to powder with the intensity of the sun's heat. Now there seems to be no oxygen in the air. It's all been flooded with moisture. I can see the Fremen troop in my mind dancing with glee as they start setting up wind traps, for this has got to be a Mother of delivery for them. The only thing better would be a Grandfather of a worm headed toward their thumper.

The sunflowers have since grown, flowered and gone to seed. I cut them down in proper season and proper ceremony leaving the faery three I marked earlier. That in itself had interesting results. The three that I had marked, by the time harvest actually came around, had been dried and stripped of their seeds while the rest were still green and the seeds plentiful. The sunflowers were a marvelous companion through the beginning of summer. They waved in the wind, bowing their full heads, they attracted enchanting bugs of every shiny color, bees created a super highway to get to my flowers and rush back to the hive with tales of pleasant, yellow pollen. Kneeling down beneath them brought on a cool rush of relief from the sun regardless of time of day. I can see how making a semi circle of them in a fort like fashion would make for a fine summer faery hut.

As promised earlier, I have news of the most excellent kind. I have working with a friend of mine who is also a healer. He uses accupressure massage techniques with a good whopping of reiki for good measure. I have discovered several things in this process. . . my joints are weird for beginners. Apparently I am one of those with all sorts of crazy cross ties that allow me to do insane things like function and walk like a real person while my joints are completely out of socket. I apparently walked ( danced, ran, and skipped) around on a hip joint that was being held by a tendon strap; completely out of place for 19 years! When it went back into it's proper position on the table, there was a great pop that sounded like someone  had whacked a trash can with a hammer. I remember hearing that same sort of pop while giving birth to my first child. I guess now we know what it was. Since that moment, my fibromyalgia symptoms have begun to quickly retreat. I wake up in the morning and I feel like I can do my day with out the usual pep talk about how my circumstance may choose me, but I choose how I walk it.

There have been strangenesses. The first time the hip went in we had to stand and make a few quick adjustments. I slipped out of myself and saw myself in a completely different time and space. I was standing over a lake with wind over the water in a desert place. It was a full experience. My eyes could see, my ears could see, my skin could see and then it was gone. It lasted for no more of a blink of an eye here in this time space. I have had several other similar experiences since. I sort of attribute it to the unlocking of my body releasing things that became trapped and with that, a release other things from my soul's memories slips through I guess. It's a theory.

There are people ( many of them) who deserve my thanks. They have earned it.

 Mr. Oddly: I know things have been hard. We have not worked out a good balance yet, but we are working on it. Your willingness to continue to pass through the firestorms I can produce would make any firefighter retreat for safety. I wish good marriages equaled no conflict, but that would make me delusional. Dragon husbandry is a hard career.

Mom and Dad: You knew I could do this before I did.

Tails, Scarlett, and Little Man: I love you all my little ones ( yes Tails, even you, will always be my little one even though I need a stepladder to look you in the eye. Scarlett. . . no, you are not yet taller than me.) your help and extra hands are a Goddess send and all those jokes and laughs. . . well who couldn't get better with that?

Zoe: keep writing, it makes me happy to see your thoughts paint the sky with brilliance.

Nikki: Thick and thin; bestfriendicide and all. You have been nothing but shade and cool water and the occasional desert chanty.

Mr. NotBeck: your healing talents are only surpassed by the generosity of your heart and friendship.

Mr. Freeman aka Lilith's Priest: I am honored that you would find me worthy of your healing ministrations.

Nick: you shine in the middle.

Laura: Sweet, sweet woman. . . how does this sour puss get set next to you and expected to out do your radiance??? Well it's not happening, not in this world anyway ;)

YOU: yes you. The one with their eyes scrolling across this screen. Your comments, your tweets, your shares, and likes. In a world where friends live in little boxes on laps, funky hand held cubes, and other strangenesses sure to fly our way, you have contributed to my well being. I honor and welcome the continuance of that relationship. You have lent me your eyes and ears and heart and tears. And the occasional evil snicker. 

You Stand Against Me: at the end of the day it doesn't matter who stood and who fell. It's the lesson you taught me. You taught me the the holy scripture of "I." I bow before you, my foe, I know may fall here and I accept the lesson of surrender when it is time.

I am honored and blessed to have all of you.

the beginning. . .