Thursday, September 29, 2011

Sampling corners.

I'm hoping that today is a better day than yesterday. (  or at least last night). The water heater decided to spring a leak, so I am expecting to have a plumber over to handle it. My son had a classic adolescent testosterone meltdown because he doesn't like the rules and thinks it's my fault that he's at the bottom of the chain as he puts it. He can't make and keep the right friends because I won't let him go galavanting around the city. ( sorry ain't happening) Apparently, he has it in his head that the impending economic crash is the end of the world. I'm not sure it's the end of the world, but it's not going to be fun or pretty. I also don't agree with the trader who got on BBC news and honestly spoke about the next crash. He said that anyone can profit from this crash and he plans to. Well if by everyone he is referring to those with discretionary funds, he is sadly mistaken. My experience with traders is that they simply do not understand the reality of the 99 percent.

My Mother had a friend who was a day trader. He was running a holistic center. Until the world crashed on him, he used to emphasize the importance of eating well. My mother pointed out that many people cannot afford the foods he is recommending because things are very tight. He flat out told her he didn't believe her and said the only reason people don't eat right is because they are too lazy to make it themselves. He is not doing so well right now. Unfortunately, he is learning the hard way how most of the 99 percent really live. Not a lesson I would want anyone to learn this way, but anyway, I ramble.

I think high school leads a life style that is counter culture to reality. Most of your friends are about the same age and just as clueless about the reality of living. In real life, friends come from all walks and generations. Each person has a unique view and different experience level to share. Each friend makes you just a bit wiser if you choose well. I keep trying to emphasize that surrounding yourself with those smarter than yourself is usually a wise choice, but he's an adolescent, so of course, Mom is a moron, liar, and rule nazi.

I am trying to handle his snotty attitude and anger lashing with grace, but last night wasn't so graceful. Each time he sneered at me and my rules, I could feel the ego dander rise. I have rules and I expect them to be followed. Those rules are there for a reason. It got to the point where he consistently demanded a further explanation for something. We had already covered those grounds at length he knew what the reasoning was, he just didn't like it. I had reached my patience limit with his anger mask and violent tone so I finally screeched back at him: because I said so and that's the only answer you are going to get right now! Well, of course, that went well. Afterward, he let loose with a barrage of insane remarks that only could be fueled by rage. There was absolutely no logic or truth to anything coming out of his mouth. He revealed just how frightened of the future he really is. Even with a basic understanding of what is going on around him and why it is happening, he sees no reason to obey any rules. Especially since those in power certainly aren't. He feels like by following rules and being truthful and honorable, he will end up at the bottom of the chain, as he puts it, with no future. WOW!

He see no end to this. 

Once again the cards are right. They warned me that my eldest would have some issues that need some serious guiding through and last night, I failed as a parent. I let my ego get the best of me and let my patience dry up. This is the note I am leaving town on??? Great! I am not one to think that all will be better if I leave it alone. It's not like the issue is going to go away by itself. It's not like his friends are going to do anything but re enforce those thought forms. They are all the same age. They pretty much all feel the same way. At this age kids trust their peer group more than adults. I find that insane, but then again I'm an adult, over thirty, and not to be trusted. That seems to be the creed of this age group in any generation. I remember being a teenager. I remember how terrible it was. I would NEVER want to repeat that age. I really feel for him and I am trying to find a way into his mind that will make sense. All he seems to want is for me to be a good old pal and let him do what ever he deems cool. I am his parent, not his pal and he hates me for it. I'm ok with that.

What I am not ok with, is that yelling and screaming seems to be the only thing he listens to. He pushes every button ( read as mashes with a sledge hammer) until he gets the anger levels up to where he wants them. I think he is of the mind that if he wears me down I'll just give up and let him run amuck. Well he actually ended up in a corner standing at parade rest until his Dad got home. I wonder when he'll get the message and stop pushing my buttons like that? I guess never. That's okay. I have many more corners he can sample. In the mean time I am going to go smudge and seek a bit of guidance before my day gets crazy!

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