Friday, May 30, 2014

A black heart shadow

I sat in the bathtub tonight to soak out all the tension in my body. I could feel my shoulders creep into my ears and my rib cage squeeze my inner organs. Always a bad sign. I added a grape fruit for cleansing and baking soda for detoxing. Essential oils of lavender, geranium and lemongrass lingered in the air's moist heat as I slipped under the water. I rolled the litany through my mind: I shall not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that leads to total obliteration. . . The candle flickered casting shadows of itself like a dancers mirroring themselves on the wall across the bathroom. I watched the surface of the water to see if there was anything to scry upon.

I could hear my Dad's movie playing in the next room. He watches parts of one until it is over while he is doing his nightly exercise routine. Avatar has been playing the last couple of days. I wasn't really paying attention to it until something jarred me: "We will tell the sky people, they cannot come and take what they want!" My focus suddenly shifted in that moment from the surface of the water to the shadows floating over me, and then I saw it. A tiny black heart floating over my torso. It crossed me a few times about the same place my Uhane would be in my etheric body: the place where confidence dwells. The place where resolve forms and solidifies.

I am still processing that moment, but it sure does seem like a small piece of magic dancing in my bath. I have much to plan, much to think about, and much to do, but the night grows thin and the clock runs mercilessly forward.

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