|art by Yangtian Li|
I would like to say that I planned the timing of all of these strange events, but nope, it's not something I thought about. It all seems to be lined up this way on purpose by a hand larger than mine. I think I am okay with that and will continue to trust the process. I may not be able to control how big the swells get on the ocean's surface, but I can decide how to ride the wave. It has been interesting to make note of how things line up and move about. I have also met with disappointment on this ride. I will not be able to get that tattoo I wanted to mark my 40th birthday with. It has been delayed. Earlier in the Year the Ice maiden and I spoke about the difference between wearing a tattoo and the tattoo wearing you. We discussed appropriate shifts in the tattoo, but what I didn't expect were full out trials. It seems to me that my work with the Guardians have become the trials she hinted at in my dreams in the beginning. Each time she showed up we discussed mirror work, but I could feel her third eye digging into me through the mirrors. I wonder what she saw. She is clearly younger that I in her chronological appearance, but she has an otherworldly gaze that at times is unsettling. It is steady and probing. She clearly much older than I ever was at her age. I sometimes think she and the Guardians are in cahoots. I definitely feel like I am being put through the paces and have yet to earn my tattoo. Apparently, I don't get to wear that tattoo on the merit of only living long enough to breathe for 40 years. What the Hexes was I thinking??? So the Tattoo waits. . . until the time is right.