Yes there is power in fear. But it is the power of force. Power over. The power that fear bought is as transitory as a person's decision to face that fear, stare it down, and nail that foe to the wall as a trophy. Fear is a mere flash of lightning in the face of love's power. Both lightning and fear have the power to be devastatingly destructive and by holding either of these potent forces is the same as squeezing broken glass in your fist.
We are exhorted as warriors to seek balance within and without. We are reminded that we are not to seek out fighting for the sake of battle, but to go into battle as a means of defending yourself and the ones we love. I am finding that the battle has been brought to me. I live at a bus stop and watch how the kids interact with each other. There's this one party who always seems to get the raw end of the stick. This child is constantly taunted in passive and aggressive ways by another in particular and no one seems to make this prober back off of its prey. I realize what it is these kids are responding to; I also realize that they have no clue, what so ever, as to why they are behaving in the manners they do. I am watching a microcosm of the enclosure effect and it alarms me. No one wants to stand up to the bully. They are all afraid to have an unpopular response to a situation even if it is the correct one.
They are also probably afraid for their lives. I think they smell it too after this morning. I intervened and have in the past between these to butting heads. This was different. There was a hysterical frustration voiced in both tenor and tremble. It frightened me. I am frightened this child may snap. I am frightened that the prober/child has no idea that it could be putting itself in target position. I am frightened that these behavior patterns in our children will only grow more prevalent. I feel intense pressure all around these children as they wait for the bus.
It's horrifying watching other people's children behave as a wild pack of screeching banshees picking each other apart with no respect paid to the skeletons they leave in their wake.
What is it I am to do with this fear as it stalks me? It is indeed a very real and rational fear. I have ideas that include things like peace water sidewalk wash and making chalk drawings on the drive way with magic chalk . . . let the little man loose. I'll sacrifice some chalks for that cause.
I am not seeking power over the situation with these acts. I am seeking to create a flow of positive energy that prevents all people hanging out in front of my home from believing the imprecations hurled upon them by the cruelness of adolescent behavior.
The school year is almost gone. Literally in two weeks so I need to move fast if I expect to test run it for next season. This thing, drama, what ever it is in front of my house needs to stop presenting itself as a threat to my family's well being.
I feel more settled and now that I faced my fear and followed it's path to nothingness, I find that there is indeed only myself and that the real answer is far more loving and kind than I expected.