The road to evil.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when fear has passed I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where fear has gone. There is nothing. Only I remain.

Frank Herbert
Dune

The first time I read those words they struck me like a gong and they resonated through me since adolescence. I have faced many a fear with these words rolling through my mind and it has helped. There were things that logic and evidence could not discount and eliminate the fear and it turned out that they were real things to be fearful of and the litany against fear helped me navigate those things without losing my mind. But there is a thing that I keep turning my inner eye toward: fearful people do frightening things and behave in psychopathic manners. Religion tends to lean in this manner. People who have been indoctrinated into a religion and believe whole heartedly that their way is the only way have been programmed by their leaders that anything else is evil. This tends to be reinforced by their peers who have accepted this creed. We see this most recently with the discriminatory behavior by city councils who uninvite Wiccans to say prayer at the beginning of meetings and say ridiculous things in regards to their beliefs being evil and inspired by Satan. What is it about being different that inspires people to demonize another person, or group of them,  and make them a target of hate and disdain?

I have personal experience of this ilk. When my ex and I were newly married I came out of the closet to my in laws because in the course of a conversation they admitted to having felt and evil presence on their land and told me they went around its bounds praying. . . as a witch I was rather impressed that they would thing to do something as magical as this until the next words out of my mother in law's mouth:  " but it's not like we were doing magic, magic is evil." The first thought in my mind was: what???? that IS MAGIC! I immediately  came out with: magic isn't evil. Life is magic.  Well as you can guess, I have been evil in her mind from that moment forward and the conversation degraded from there. At one point in time, while being ignored at a family gathering she pointed to the cover of my by Oak Ash and Thorn book: you know the one, the one with Cernunnos sitting peacefully on the earth, well any way, she opened her mouth to say" that is evil." As the years went by her perception of my spirituality kept coloring me as evil because I was different and practiced spirituality differently than her. She even back handedly accused me of putting the evil eye on her land at one point. She and her husband came over for a visit in which she asked me if the evil eye could blight land. I told her yes it could over a prolonged period of time and left to sit. She tutted and said she didn't realize that, however, my mind immediately went back to a moment after our daughter was born, my mother in law had me have everyone touch the baby so that she wouldn't get the evil eye. I thought it funny she would ask me such a question and then it dawned on me. I was being accused. There was nothing at that point I could do that was correct, right and good. I made a charm based upon Mexican magic practices to protect her hearth and home from the evil she was perceiving from one of my aloe vera charms. . . they took that as a sign of admission of guilt. Her fear of something she did not understand and very apparently didn't want to understand made her a wrecking ball in our relationship.

Now this is a very personal example of how fearful people behave. They do it in a manner that is underhanded and sneaky so that they can get away with bad behavior and look pious doing it. Evil is not in any one thing, difference, being, or belief. Evil is an act. It is a pattern of behavior that undermines the trust and well being of others. Evil is indeed a fearful thing, but you have to understand what evil is in order to really recognize that it is not a thing that lives in something merely different than you.

so here is the dictionary meaning of evil: adjective

1. 1.

   profoundly immoral and malevolent.

   "his evil deeds"

   synonyms:

   wicked, bad, wrong, immoral, sinful, foul, vile, dishonorable, corrupt,iniquitous, depraved, reprobate, villainous, nefarious, vicious, malicious;More

noun

1. 1.

   profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity, especially when regarded as a supernatural force.

   "the world is stalked by relentless evil"

   synonyms:

   wickedness, bad, badness, wrongdoing, sin, ill, immorality, vice, iniquity, degeneracy, corruption, depravity, villainy, nefariousness,malevolence;  More

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The above is the meaning found online and perfect for our supposed ADD riddled society. However, when we actually look in the hard dictionary clarity is brought into view and a deeper understanding begins. I am looking at the Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary and evil is defined as thus:

1. morally wrong or bad; immoral; wicked; evil deeds; evil life; 2. harmful; injurious; evil laws; 3. characterized as misfortune or suffering; unfortunate; disastrous; to be fallen on evil days. 4. due to actual or imputed bad conduct or character: an evil reputation 5. marked by anger, irritability, irascibility etc. . .

The list goes on for a count of 14 aspects of the word including an aspect of nature that gives rise to wicked behavior, but each time it is defined as a behavior. . . not a person or a thing or something that is different. A behavior.

We see evil every day. It is in the group of people spewing hate at gays, lesbians, and trans genders for loving another person who happens to be of the same gender. We see it in school yard with bullies both young and old. We see it in our politics, relationships, religious leadership and followers alike, yet, we insist on turning a blind eye and name it a being. What inspires us to do such a thing??? Two words: power and control.

When we grasp for power and control we are acknowledging that we have fear in our hearts that something will not go the way we insist it going. So we manipulate our environment and the people in it to elicit the reaction and behavior we want. Not all of this is evil. Spanking a child because the child dashed into the street or parking lot and almost gets hit by a car is not evil. It is an incentive for the child to remember to never do that again. Dashing into streets and parking lots without looking can be lethal and as parents our job is to ensure the maturity of our children arises. Did fear occur in the moment the child dashed into the street. . . hexes yes! However, it was a thing to genuinely fear. Undermining a relationship because of your religion  is also a fear and acting upon that fear in a destructive manner is evil. Not even fear itself is evil. . . however, unexamined fear can most assuredly pave the road to evil. Fearful people do frightening things.

Old and New teacups with a dash of Crossed Keys

The sun is still clinging to the hemline of the horizon and it stretches thinner as if to taunt me by saying: not yet. .  . The wind has died down from its furious pacing across the yard and if all holds the way it is now, I may be able to set up out doors in the back to be under the moon light for Her Sacred Fires Rite tonight.

I have been reading the Crossed Keys by Michael Cecchetelli. I find it interesting in  he manner that he shares some of his personal experiences with the Black Dragon Grimoire. As I was reading the evocations, I began to wonder several things about the original author of that grimoire including if the person was a priest to begin with and, if not, was this person disguising the dialogue within a Christian frame in hopes of not appearing to be a heretic. I also began to wonder about the origin of these 'demons'. As it turns out the 'demons' may not be what we think they are. Even in King Solomon's day that which we know as angels were called demons. I suspect some of them are probably divinities from cultures long passed and have been labeled as demons for the simple reason of not bowing to Christian-dom. The more I read and re read what was presented to me, the more I began to think upon my own native divinities within Feri and why would I want to add to a roster of beings (as though they were something to collect) when I have perfectly good connections of my own to call upon. I don't. As much as respect the work and praxis of the magicians presented here in this book, I don't think it's my cup of tea. . . (where's my old cup anyway?)

I have started to delve into parts of my tradition I have not thought to sink into before and I have The Crossed Keys to thank for that. I already have a connection to Gods and Goddesses and have only chanted their names with little thought of really connecting to them and creating a working relationship with them. I have always been the one to remember to say please and thank you and even yes sir/ ma'am, but these particular divinities always seemed distant to me upon evocation for ritual. While reading the Crossed Keys, I felt pulled, hard toward them even as I was fascinated with the praxis in hand. So with that in mind, for the next twelve weeks I will be working with each one in turn to begin individual introductions and personal dialogue. I have a wealth of connections and I should be cultivating and nurturing those instead of creating new ones as working with the Black Dragon Grimoire would demand I do.

I begin with Ashtaroth. She is a Phoenician Goddess also associated with Inanna and Ishtar as being one and the same on just about every different site I visit. I also see many Christian sites who call her  a demon, but that wouldn't be any new thing from them. She is a love and war goddess. However, there is more to her than love and war. She is a teacher of the liberal sciences, she also seems to have an affinity for groves, trees, the woods. She has been called a stellar Goddess and a bringer of visions and prophetic dreams. I come from a tradition that values personal experiences so reading was not enough for me. I went and built an altar for her in the West, put out my gazing mirror and made offerings of perfumed oil, sourdough bread, and a liquor. I wrote her an evocation and called upon her in the afternoon after meditating upon her in the morning. I shouldn't have been shocked by actually making contact with her, but there was something in me that was. Maybe it's just the recent stresses of my mundane life speaking. My PTSD makes me believe all sorts of crazy things like: maybe I have been abandoned by my gods. It was a good beginning this rite. Is she Inanna and Astarte and Ishtar??? I don't know, maybe. What I do know, is that I did dream something that was not the usual of late and it didn't make me afraid.    

While I am looking for employment, I keep my little etsy shop going and keep busy with other things on top of trying to decipher legal speak. . . the law really should be something that is readily accessible AND easily understood by lay people, but it's not. So needless to say, I am turned upside down and twisted into pretzel knots trying to read it while trying to keep the panic attacks to a minimum which means more breaks than I really want. Still I over do it and some times end up in full blown anxiety attack mode. It's getting better though. With the acupuncture treatments counseling and some of the coping skills I have been acquiring, I am really seeing improvement from a few months ago. I still need to be reminded to take my homeopathic remedies because there are times when I don't catch the precursors myself.

I will be okay, eventually.

Well the wind is up again. I can hear it whip by my window. . . so the rite is indoors tonight. 

Going for a Bitch Walk. . .

I was in a conversation with peers on the subject of social activism and how far our responsibility to it goes. I am not really a social activist, but when I see something wrong ( and right) I have a terrible habit of opening my mouth and putting my .02 on the table. Really, I should be paying a quarter because most of what I say is not terribly pretty. Ugh. There were others who felt as though they should be advocating their calling to justice and rightness, but they weren't too sure how much and how far to go with it. Hopefully they work through and find an answer that works for them. I wish them good hunting. My answer is simple. It works for me. I focus on the city I live in for the most part. I have a personal calling to the protection of women and children. I have a special wicked venom for child molesters and rapists.

There are two separate workings I will share with you because I can't be in every city and I am sure I am not alone in this feeling of no more! Not in my city!

Bitch Walk

If you are so lucky as to have a bitch (female dog), most excellent. You will want to leash her up and go for a twilight walk, as it is a great liminal time to call upon Hecate and her hounds. Yes, do walk by all the houses in your neighborhood with annoying barking dogs. See how many dogs you can get barking. ( no cheating. just walk by the house respectfully.) Of course, the entire time you are whispering to Hecate and her hounds about the particulars of the violation against women and children and calling upon her for help. Be very specific about what happened. Be certain to whisper. It connects you to the divine in an intimate manner. Listen to your bitch. Watch were she wants to go and what's around. Take mental notes and taste the wind. If you want, you can do this with a poppet in hand of the perpetrator or a rolled up scroll of the artistic rendering. When you have gathered your forces to a point you feel you can take no more, head for a crossroads and leave the poppet or scroll at its center. Walk away. Do not look back. When you get home, make sure your faithful bitch is well rewarded.

If you do not have a bitch, do not fret. Get a dog fetish or simply print out a picture of your favorite breed of dog and go for the same walk. Leave an offering of a special dog treat on your altar.

To Catch a Rapist
best performed during the times the perpetrator is known to strike.

Tools:

black candle inscribed with the name of your city, the sigil for Venus and a pentacle for protection.
red thread
photo of perpetrator, or the composite sketch
war water
ziplock bag
water from the tap ( city water from which you live or the perpetrator if you know him/her)
garlic bulb or egg for offering
goofer's dust

*ground
* call circle and guardians
*Call Hecate

Queen of the Heavens
Queen of the Dead
Walker above, below, and between the worlds
Come be near your priest/ess this hour
Help me/ us to stop this violator of women and children
Lend your might to this casting,
Come and attend and protect this rite and this city.

Wait for a sign of Her presence, in darkness if you can. Light inscribed candle. Cut out the composite sketch while focusing on his or her every move being foiled by his/ her own hand. Place a pinch of goofer's dust in the middle of the paper and fold into thirds before very carefully rolling into a scroll. You may want to do this on news paper because goofer's dust is not something you want to spill all over the place and have a hard time cleaning up. Continue to focus on this person goofing up enough to be caught properly by authority to be punished civilly. As you focus on this wind the red cord around the scroll saying:

This red thread to start the charm
This red thread to end your harm
This red thread to track your tread
this read thread to stop you dead. ( Let the Goddess determine how literally to take this phrase.)

Repeat this with heat ( not hate) until the scroll is glowing with heat and power and the scroll is wrapped and knotted three times.

Hold the charm and visualize the violator being caught and appropriately handled. Place the charm in a zip lock bag with war water and city tap water. Seal it well and place it in the freezer until the violator is caught and dealt with.

* Thank Hecate and say farewell
* Thank the guardians
* Open circle

When done take the whole frozen bag to a crossroad with a trash can far from your home and toss it. Leave the offering ( egg or garlic bulb.) Do not look back.



from the Book of Purple

Basic Goofer's dust
equal parts patchouli and graveyard dirt
( properly paid for from the grave of a beloved Matriarch; preferably from the head or heart area. If that is not available, buy it from a graveyard gateway)
sulphur or saltpeter ( only a couple of pinches, something to give it oomph.)


I don't generally meddle in a whole bunch of things outside my city or state. I tend to pick my fights, as we all should. On occasion there are things that have been brought to my door that would normally be considered "out of my jurisdiction."  For example a friend brought my attention to an attack on one of her best girlfriends. Yup. You bet' cha jurisdiction went right out the eff'ing window.


You may or may not agree with me about my policy on hexing and that's okay. But, if ever there comes a time you change your mind and need one of these workings, they are here patiently waiting for you.

Blessings

Oh Spring, you tease. . .

 After reading Georgi Mishev's Thracian Magic, I decided two things: I was going to learn how to make sourdough bread from starter and I was going to make Martenitsi ( as threatened, there is a ribbon shoved into that section. Yes, the pretty blue one.)

I got really lucky, I think, with the sourdough starter and followed the directions given for catching wild yeast. I gave myself plenty of failing time just in case and before December 20, I had a nice starter and was able to make a ritual loaf of bread for my ancestors and family. My yeast beastie is happily brewing away in my fridge and gets pulled out weekly for feeding. If anyone asks if there is something living in there I can, in fact, say there is something alive in there and to watch out it may bite. Okay, maybe the biting part is over kill, but if Hagrid can unleash a monster book of monsters on his students, than a yeast beastie in my fridge should be nothing.

There has always been something a little different about bread I made myself. Something extra that comforted and nourish all those little life cravings that only melting butter on hot bread can soothe. What I experience while eating the sourdough bread was just that to an Xth degree. I suspect it was the difference in the genii intelligence of the yeast culture. It is the only thing that has shifted in my ritual breads. I will be using this recipe for all bloodless offerings. It's a good thing that this bread is so good, it will not keep very long so it's just best to eat it while it's hot.

Within the book, Georgi discusses a ritual that is literally days long all surrounding the making and  kneading of dough. It is a very communal thing and only participants of the rite walk away with the bread ( and any puzzle pieces from the Mysteries.) Secret herbs are poured in by the elders, the bread is serenaded and danced for, magic is definitely afoot. I may not be able to get together with the 'village' and perform the full rites, but I can have my daughter help me knead the dough while blasting out our favorite holiday Jingle Spells songs. ( as I said earlier, some traditions are going to have to be tossed out the window and seeing as how I am the only one in the family to dig up and pass on family and cultural trads, the whole grandma thing will have to take a back seat.)

Speaking of Grandma, another thing that will have to be done by myself are the Martenitsi. I liked the whole description of how the eyes were supposed to be closed during the crafting. That and a whole other list of proscriptions, reminded me of the faery tales of one eye open: one eye closed, on one leg in the door jam was where faeries could be seen in their realm. In another story, the whole one eye, one leg, in a door jam thing is done completely upside down! Immediately, you can see where one thought form is of protection and the other of sight or insight, but both can be infused upon crafting with specific conditions. Technically, anything can be infused during crafting. . . we have all heard about the One Ring business.

My first set of martenitsi, was of course, like all first draft writings. . . crap, but canon. I kept it and hung it in my office; it will be joining the others in the tree out front on Ostara. I thought about my failing with the martenitsis and a new design began to form in my head. I really liked the comfort stars shape as I was making them, they just turn right between your fingers making them perfect places to catch wishes. I stuffed them with lavender, a fresh smell during the last dark days of winter. I decided they would be best functional as zipper pulls as we would all be wearing jackets for a while yet.

 I stuck with the canon colors of red and whites and as I began making these, I saw that these things were not only familiar to me, but in ways I didn't quite expect. I looked around the web for some lore on the tradition and found several different variations. I had the opportunity to ask a couple of questions from the author and his answer at first vexed me. He said that it was more about the experience of creating and wearing them than the lore. As I was focusing on my connections with Hecate, I did so in a manner that spoke very deeply to my Feri views. When I pulled back and looked at what I had created, I put together that both the iron and pearl pentacles were involved in the whole wishing process. It had become a reminder to run both exercises as I was walking through the neighborhood.

I know the magic is not quite done and that my tree will probably not look as awesome as the one in that pic. The little zipper pulls will all dangle from the limbs of the honey mesquite tree and soak up more of the sky as spring pushes into my life. It's good to know that Hecate has a faery smile too.

I am finding it easier than I imagined to add ancestral cultural practices into my personal Feri praxis. I think that makes me sigh in relief. It is also good to know that, even though it's been a long time coming back, that war and hate cannot strip us of our heritage completely. The tracks of the beast are still in the forest.