Angry imps!

I like this discussion on the dark side of meditation and the issues that can occur. I view them of course not necessarily from a scientific or even scholastic perspective. I come to this discussion from personal experience ( which is king in my book) and a shamanic eye. It is necessary to have this discussion because these are real consequences of awakening a possible shaman without the lore/ guiding hand/ shamanic ethos and spirit contact. Meditation is not a practice of scientifically silencing the mind and it's voice, it is a conscious effort to connect yourself with the divine part of yourself and divinity as we are able to perceive and understand. This requires understanding of uncommon sense to be applied in a common sense world. Yes this is indeed a paradox, but if you are in the mirror's reflection, everything is backward, yet we still understand it.

 I agree with the Dalai Lama: you cannot have a Temple without a large library to support it. ( Library guides are also very much desired.) Libraries and library guides teach us that there are answers out there and if they are not direct answers, we are able to take the facts or read a pattern and bring it into focus to understand or at least come to terms with the strangenesses currently in play. Between libraries and meditation, shamans thrive; remove the libraries and the whole kit and caboodle is insanity in a crazy burlap bag of angry wet cats. Poor burlap bag. I believe that when you are centered within yourself while in meditation that what you have learned has the potential to become wisdom through right action.  I think we often forget that life is a mystery to experience not analyze.

I have had some very negative experiences in both meditation and trance. That does not make me unstable. It makes me pretty "normal." EEEEEKKKK When these disturbing things occur it is a cue for me not to run away, but to carefully inspect. I may be experiencing an angry shard of myself or even missing soul piece! That is not to be ignored or taken lightly in the shamanic world. ( it is also not red alert/ klaxon alarm/ panic button pushing event.) It could be causing illness, true indeed, even emotional disturbances. . . the good news is that you can fix it. In fact, when these things come up you are being invited to help heal the issue. Not just fix it; heal it, mend it, bring the tattered ends together for peace talks. These things, these dark frightening things that hide in our beings. . . they are us. And they want the same things we want: love and acceptance for who and what they are. Really it's like the soul shattered off and made all these little imp like shards and they come back to haunt us. The only truth we need to understand in these moments is this: It may be an imp, but it's my imp and I love it. Well loved imps are much better behaved than ignored, ostracized, and angry imps.

Thus the witch proverb:

Faithfully serve your imp, and S/He shall faithfully serve you.

I can feel it in my bones.

http://images.elfwood.com/art/r/e/renaemarie/storms.jpg

As usual my morning drive to my daughter's school includes listening to local news talk radio just so  I can sort of get a heads up as to what is going on in the world around me and look stuff up later. This morning was an interesting little blurb about how some people can feel the weather shift in their bones. The scientific explanation  appears to be that as the air becomes more or less dense the joints and sinuses expand and contract in kind allowing the observant  person to feel the weather. I have a similar experience with the presence of divinity.

I was reminded of this experience sharply after someone I am speaking to was inquiring into something I mentioned to him about my celebration of Hecate's Moon, or as I refer to it the 29th. On the 29 I go nowhere in the evening, my friends know better than to call unless blood has been spilled or someone's dying and I perform my own made ritual in her honor. I created this ritual many years ago before much of the information that is out there was available. I have no idea how much of this is backed up by real academia, as I have not taken the time yet to sift through the new information. I know my research into it was back door-ish through quotes from Roman times of how they didn't go to the crossroads on the 29th because of strange things happening and from there I took my shamanic behind to task. I wanted to know why. My journey into celebrating Hecate's Moon began 10 years ago.

I knew something was very different from the get go. I found myself in meditation calling her name on a fog surrounded triple crossroad in the middle of what looked like dirt road. There was a pillar with three faces and outside, in reality, every dog in the neighborhood set to baying. It was literally hair raising. I felt a clawish boney hand on my shoulder at that point turn me to face Her and She asked me why I had come. I had been working with her for a while before this first shamanic journey to meet her. I recognized the presence of Her as being the one and the same who had pushed me into Her cauldron in my dreams. Those were a bit frightening. My body had a distinct reaction: literally every nerve was electrifyingly alive, my arm hairs stood on end and there was a hum in my ears accompanied with a physical sensation that 10 years later I still have trouble putting to words. To this day when She shows up, I have that physical reaction. Sometimes Her presence is actually accompanied by dogs baying in the neighborhood.

Now, these are my experiences and there is nothing in my experience that, as far as I can tell, backed up with real academia. . . yet, as I have not sifted through the new material. Maybe there is now and that would be amazing to me! However when it comes to the actual presence of divinity ( unlike my purist tendencies with oils and herbs) for me: the proof is in the pudding. I have learned to trust my bones.